It’s one of my favourite Hollwood Sliding Doors stories:

Natalie Portman was supposed to play Juliet in Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet. They wanted her badly. The problem: she looked much, much too young. So young that in the test footage, it was “obscene”, is the way Luhrmann described it. Natalie was slightly less delicate in her recounting of the reasons behind her departure:

"They said it looked like Leonardo was molesting me when we kissed.”

Special edition DVD, Baz. Do it.

Anyway, this came to me looking at pap shots of Portman’s wedding dress reportedly designed by Rodarte. Flower child bride? Look, it’s not what I would have chosen for myself but I don’t totally hate the dollhouse wedding gown if that’s her way of being all the opposite of Jessica Simpson, fine. But why do the sleeves have to be SO unflattering?

Look at those sleeves. They seem hard and boxy. They’re the arms of a robot on the body of a baby bride. Strangest design choice ever.