Dear Gossips,

Last night I read an article that pissed me off. It’s about the obstacles that women face in the United States when they try to access better birth control, specifically the IUD. But it’s not just in America. I have a friend who went to a pharmacy in Toronto a couple of years ago for Plan B, the morning-after pill, and was judged by the pharmacist and practically had to get into a screaming match with him to get him to hand it over. Anyway, here’s the piece I’m talking about in which women share their stories about what they’re told by medical professionals about the difficulties of inserting an IUD and how much it hurts and basically all kinds of other deterrents. Many of you visiting this blog are women, young women. So, since I’ve had an IUD – and loved it – I’m here to tell you my experience, briefly.

I went to the doctor. We talked about the benefits of the device. I wanted it. The doctor gave me a prescription to go to the pharmacy to get it and I made an appointment to come back. And then when I came back, he and his partner couldn’t get it in. So he referred me to an ob/gyn. I went to see the ob/gyn. It took the ob-gyn maybe 5 minutes to make it happen? I say maybe because it was so fast I can barely remember. And I have a great memory. I also am an asshole about pain. And an asshole about changing my schedule and being away from my laptop. Like sometimes I’ll hold off peeing so that I don’t have to leave my chair. But I did it. And I think it hurt? Again, not enough to remember. Not enough to turn into a storyline, which I’m fully capable of doing. You know what hurts worse? That thing they do in your mouth at the dentist to freeze your gums. Definitely worse, in my particular case, than the IUD. You know what’s worse? In my case it’s having a giant stye that won’t go away and going to an eye surgeon who tells you that the he could cut it out but you’d look like you’d been in a boxing match for 50 rounds right before the Toronto International Film Festival. Here, let me show you a photo. You see that planet on my eye that looks like it has its own ring? Way worse than an IUD. Now this I can turn into a storyline. My stye has been alive for almost 3 weeks. It has been compressed more times that I’ve had sex the entire summer. It has a personality: stubborn as f-ck. But the IUD? In my experience, the IUD should not be this complicated. And the fact that it’s being made to seem complicated is unfair and it’s unfeminist.

OK I’m ready to gossip now. To make up for what I’ve just written, there’s a new blind today, because I know some of you are rolling your eyes.

Have a great weekend! 

Yours in gossip,