I got happy, so happy, the moment I saw Reese Witherspoon arrive. In THIS. And she’s not wearing it ironically.

First of all, it’s taffeta. Also it has a breast addition on top of her breasts and an extra ass on top of her ass…!!! WHY IS THE F-CK WHO WHAT?

Like, there was a minute there when I thought this might be a troll. That she was trolling us. Because I don’t even know how this dress comes off the hanger. No, wait. I don’t even know how this dress makes it Los Angeles.

In 2007, Reese Witherspoon had a stylist who put her in this:



She was fresh single from Ryan Phillippe. It was the high point of her style life. And somehow we’ve regressed to purple taffeta.

By the way, let’s talk about Reese on the red carpet. When she was over by my area, I saw her talking to Kerry Washington. They took a selfie together. Kerry was then approached by Emily Blunt. They gave each other big hugs. But Reese did not join in. She didn’t move to become a party of that party. Kerry and Emily soon became Kerry, Emily, and Charlize Theron. Reese had her back to them. Kerry, Emily, and Charlize then added Cate Blanchett. And Reese is still just waiting at the photo wall line with her husband and publicist. You take from that what you will.

PS. What did I tell you about BB-8? I AM VINDICATED.


Making friends backstage at the #oscars. #starwars #bb8

A photo posted by Reese Witherspoon (@reesewitherspoon) on