Both Rihanna and Leonardo DiCaprio were in St Barts to celebrate the new year. That’s when the rumours started, even though he was surrounded there by his “type”: tall, white model. On the weekend, they were also both at a pre-Globes party at the Playboy Mansion. Some random then tweeted that the two were making out. Then TMZ confirmed it, even though one of Leo’s friends told that it didn’t happen.

US Weekly is saying however that there was no hookup, that it was just a little “innocent flirting”.

Right. So they’re f-cking. Supposedly. Or they’ve f-cked. Supposedly. F-cking implies “ongoing”. And while there might be more f-cking occasions, “ongoing” for Leo involves someone under 25. Rihanna is 26. She’s aged out of his girlfriend range. Also, she has a mind. That’s not to say that models don’t have minds – of course they have minds – but just that a mind isn’t a quality that’s high on Leo’s list of requirements when it comes to bonafides.

But here’s why “ongoing” with Leo, for Rihanna, is hard for me to believe. In order for me to believe that Rihanna might want to go on f-cking Leo, he’d have to be a good f-ck. That girl isn’t going to come back to bed if there’s no reason to keep her there (a motto all girls should get better at living). And, well, I don’t see Leo delivering in that department. Do you?