As anticipated Tom Hiddleston did indeed join Taylor Swift and her friends in Rhode Island for her annual Fourth of July weekend of Fomo Try. Cara Delevingne and St Vincent are there. Karlie Kloss. Martha Hunt. Gigi Hadid. Uzo Aduba. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds as previously mentioned. Her brother, Austin Swift. And supposedly Selena Gomez who hasn’t been seen in the beach photos but who’s been sighted by fans, allegedly. It’s basically like Taylor’s 1989 tour, when every night it became a guessing game about who she’d bring out on stage. Who will she bring out to the beach?
Well, the focus this year is on Tom. Swoki Love is celebrating its first holiday, and it happens to be Taylor’s favourite holiday. Also, possibly, a Nicholas Sparks novel, without the dying. When Swoki first told us that they had arrived, it was also in Rhode Island, on a large rock, in the presence of a photographer. And, as I wrote at the time, those pictures did not happen by accident. These shots, then, also did not happen by accident. You’ll note that the entire group of Swift revelers decided to rush the public beach. And it’s not like Taylor wouldn’t know that for three weeks, the world has been paying very close attention to her new relationship, it’s not like she wouldn’t have known that a pap or several paps wouldn’t make the trip to Rhode Island to see what they could get. Instead of staying on her private property, her boyfriend puts on a tank top with I (heart) TS across the front. She’s not forcing him to wear it either. He’s wearing this tank about as happily has he put on his Loki costume, well aware that half of you think it’s a publicity stunt and the other half is shipping them hard and all of us can’t f-cking get enough.
Because that’s exactly who Taylor and Tom are, independently and collectively – two people who will always be the obvious and give us exactly what we want, not necessarily what we need. In this way, in the most ironically perfect way, they are the twee equivalent of Kanye West and his wife. Which, God, that makes me so happy I can barely continue.
As you can see from some of these shots – and there are much more here- several of the squad weekend participants had temporary tattoos painted on their bodies. Tom’s tat was a heart with Taylor’s initials. I say “participants” in particular because this is what's required of those fortunate enough to be invited to Taylor Swift Fourth of July – you MUST participate. At 11am we play fake tattoos. At noon we all jump in the water at the beach. At 1pm there’s a barbecue and everyone has to share their favourite summer memory before getting a sausage. At 3 Taylor passes around yearbooks and everyone has to sign each other’s. What if all the days are scheduled? This is my worst nightmare. I hate group activities on trips away. Because of nap time. I need naps. Are you allowed to take naps?