You know they haven’t even been married a year? Their wedding was in February and that kicked off a year of a lot of us not really feeling Johnny Depp anymore. Every time he showed up with Amber, sh-t went down. Especially in Australia.

As you know, they’ve been accused of smuggling in their dogs, violating Australia’s strict rules about bringing animals into the country. Those rules are in place to protect the habitat. Some Aussie politician got obnoxious about the situation and all kinds of ludicrous threats were made to have the dogs taken away or be killed but the bottom line is that these two assholes thought they were above the law.

After that we had to endure her in Magic Mike XXL. And you thought the girl in the first Magic Mike was dull?

And then we were introduced to the Sauvage.

Johnny Depp, the rock star, beckoned by the desert, his savage nature always searching and purging, only to find the magic within a fragrance. No. Not helping. His big clunky shoes don’t help either.



And his embarrassing outfits:



And all round general grossness:



But remember, don’t make eye contact. “Never make eye contact.”

Attached: More shots of Johnny and Amber at last month’s ‘The Danish Girl’ LA premiere.