Yes, I’m 5. But I don’t really know how to react to the “news” that Nicki Minaj and Eminem are dating. 

The story broke because on YG’s new song “Big Bank”, Nicki’s verse includes the lyric: 

Told 'em I met Slim Shady, bag the Em
Once he go black, he'll be back again

And then she responded to one of her fans on social media. It was a very specific question: “You dating Eminem???” With a very simple reply: “yes.” 

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At post time, she hasn’t deleted the comment and I don’t think she will. Nicki is very active on social media and often interacts with fans, responds to comments, retweets etc. Sometimes she likes to f-ck with people, and that is where I’m falling with this: a little joke to see how much heat she can generate. It’s probably a joke.

But if it isn’t? I’m torn. Marshall Mathers is pretty much a recluse, so how will that work? As he’s gotten older, he has shied away even more from fame, so I don’t see how dating one of the biggest names in the game goes would suit him. And also, the only other famous person he has dated is Mariah Carey and when that ended, he mocked her endlessly -- he does that, and worse, to his exes in songs. (I just put together the Mariah/Nicki connection, another layer to this.)

He can’t pull that sh-t with Nicki, who is more successful in every measurable way (album sales, fame, collaborations) than any man she’s publicly dated. Nicki has a lot of potency – remember when Taylor Swift apologized to her? And how two words (“what’s good?”) leveled Miley and became a clapback for the ages? 

She’s also very savvy at marketing and has a new album coming out this summer (which she announced last night). So the dating confirmation, real or fake, is great exposure. Eminem, who is past his lyrical peak, is scared of computers and probably doesn’t even know the rumour exists, unless someone has been able to reach him on his rotary phone. (In this classic 2009 Complex interview, he had no idea how the Internet worked.) 

And yet… they are two hip-hop powerhouses who I very much want to see sitting next to Jay and Bey at the next Grammys. And they are two people who would actually be welcome to sit next to them.

So, real relationship or a joke? I’m leaning towards joke. But I wouldn’t be mad if I was wrong.