Jessica Simpson The Star of Cannes It hurt to write that. Excruciating pain. But during a week of sin and sex, when things get going at 2am, who else could be Queen but Pamela Anderson. She was flown out for a day to promote her sh-t ass movie Blonde and Blonder and also to promote By Lainey • May 17, 2007 08:00 pm
Nicky Hilton Hollywood Ebola Concedes Do you smell something stank? I smell something stank. Paris Hilton has dropped her appeal, deciding not to fight her prison sentence and submitting to the mandated 23 days as amended by the LA Sheriff’s Department…which means it’s willing to go to jail. Hollywood Ebola willingly locked By Lainey • May 17, 2007 08:00 pm
Please just rock The Buzz No matter how bad she looks bald or buzzed, it can’t be worse than this. And I have a sinking suspicion she probably looks rather cute with her hair growing out – sexy in a hard ass kind of way. But just as we saw with her low classy wig By Lainey • May 17, 2007 08:00 pm
Kevin Federline KFed spawns another The original married and destroyed Britney, KFed Junior married and is living off Tori Spelling. And now comes another: Calum Best, now KFed the Third, currently exploiting Lindsay Lohan and it’s working, don’t you think? How many of you had heard of Calum Best 2 weeks ago? Looks By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Ashlee Simpson Improved but Unwelcome See what I meant earlier about letting in the riffraff? On the one hand there’s Juliette Binoche, on the other there’s this one, looking marginally improved last night in Cannes at the Louis Vuitton party but still far from there. The pattern – isn’t this what you’d By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Bobby Brown Sexy Humour and His Wife My husband always brags about seeing Radiohead in the mid-90s at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver – small venue, legendary acoustics, a music lover’s dream. Now I have something to match him. Today, Jerry Seinfeld at the media presentation for Bee Movie – his animated collaboration with Dreamworks about the By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Jake Gyllenhaal About Jake & Diane Always thought Diane Kruger was a bit overrated. I mean seriously… Helen of Troy? Maybe a little underwhelming? Last night was no exception – obviously the assy fake bun hairdo had a lot to do with it. And the dress too. Made her look like a 50 year old socialite. Which By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Cate Blanchett Don’t let it fool you Minnie Driver at the Opening Ceremony last night – this photo taken from the Daily Mail, same publication that printed the so-called anorexic picture of Cate Blanchett last week. And as in the case with Case, had I not seen Minnie myself, I would be alarmed yes by the size By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Elizabeth Hurley Cannes Every Year She comes every year … why? Kept asking myself that all day and then I remembered she had some involvement in a charity event and now I feel badly. But, um, for someone who hasn’t made a movie in a very long time and, well, really hasn’t done much, By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Jude Law For the first time Attracted to Jude Law for the first time. And it’s not as though I’ve never seen him before. I saw him last year at TIFF. Was at a party, he was holding court with Ethan Hawke – both total greaseballs, Jude in a leather vest greaseball kind of way… By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Paris Hilton 23 Days in Special Needs 23 days bitch! Yes, I know…it’s much less than 45. But still, considering most people thought originally that she wouldn’t serve more than a few hours as a result of prison overcrowding, 23 days, as in over 3 weeks, is better than nothing. And 23 days behind By Lainey • May 16, 2007 08:00 pm
Cameron Diaz Pip & Ass go public Definitely not Rachel Stevens, see? JT and Jessica kissing – can’t miss that shelf ass. So anyway…Do they look right to you? To me they don’t look right. Like Scarlett and Ryan Reynolds look right. And Tom and Gisele. But Pip and Biel? Something’s off. Can’t By Lainey • May 15, 2007 08:00 pm
Jake Gyllenhaal Opening Cannes! Just got back from the opening ceremony – killer activity on the Croisette tonight. Not only on the carpet but further along the beach… Jerry Seinfeld...and Jakey Gyllenhaal too! I will say this: he deserves his spot on the Freebie Five. Especially now in the flesh. And the most surprising By Lainey • May 15, 2007 08:00 pm
Elton John Killing the Perfect Ending “The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself”…so very Oprah cheese but the way it ended, Sex and the City, with Samantha writhing on top of Smith and Miranda in Brooklyn and Charlotte with a Chinese baby and many, many puppies, and of course “John” popping By Lainey • May 15, 2007 08:00 pm
Brad Pitt The Bestsellers Always. For 2 years these three have sold out newsstands and as much as people claim they don’t care, they clearly still care. Smart Janice Min - anything to get the MiniVan Majority riled up behind their pity poster girl, and this week is more of the same. Janice obviously By Lainey • May 15, 2007 08:00 pm
Elton John The Past and The Present I can’t. I can’t understand. Maybe it’s just me. I must be a lesser person. But kissing him, his open sores, his crack mouth, his bleeding gums – I couldn’t. Not in a million years could I. But Kate Moss evidently can. And she wants to. Over By Lainey • May 15, 2007 08:00 pm
