Media Manipulation Chris Hemsworth gets wet for you And many of you return the favor, but both Lainey and I are on the record with this guy—we don’t get it. He seems nice enough, but to me the most interesting thing about Chris Hemsworth is that he’s friends with Matt Damon. I will give him By Sarah • Jan 14, 2015 02:28 pm
Movie Reviews and Previews Pitt, Gosling, and Bale team up for Sploosh: The Movie In news first dreamed up by the Minivan Majority’s collective vagina, Variety reported yesterday that Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling, and Christian Bale will appear in a movie together. The movie, titled Sploosh: The Movie, is about three brothers on a road trip. After losing all their cash during a By Sarah • Jan 14, 2015 09:49 am
Movie Reviews and Previews Familiar people remaking Strangers on a Train Is it really a remake, though, or just a modern adaptation? Alfred Hitchcock’s classic Strangers on a Train was adapted from a novel by Patricia Highsmith of the same name. The title is most widely known as a Hitchcock movie, but I don’t know if a modern take By Sarah • Jan 13, 2015 03:49 pm
Movie Reviews and Previews Film Review: Tak3n Subtitle: “I sat through this so you don’t have to”. About fifteen minutes into Tak3n—surely the year’s stupidest title—I desperately wanted to walk out. But I don’t walk out of movies on principal, so I white-knuckled it through one of the worst movies I’ve By Sarah • Jan 13, 2015 01:44 pm
Movie Reviews and Previews Ultron is here to ruin everything, including your childhood Marvel released the second trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron last night and they are doubling down on the creepy renditions of “I’ve Go No Strings”. Put that free Disney songbook to work, dude, but now I will forever be creeped out by Pinocchio. Not that a sentient talking By Sarah • Jan 13, 2015 10:47 am
The Walking Dead All that matters on The Walking Dead is survival Season five of The Walking Dead returns in a month and AMC has released a teaser for the final half of the season. I don’t think it’s actual episode footage, but the emphasis is on survival as Rick says that “all that matters is surviving—together.” So it By Sarah • Jan 12, 2015 02:26 pm
Media Manipulation Superhero Face Punch now has Parts I and II Earlier this week I got a document in my email listing projected release dates for trailers, and I noticed that Superhero Face Punch had a projected February trailer date. I thought that was a bit odd since its release, March 25, 2016, is more than a year away. But today By Sarah • Jan 09, 2015 03:52 pm
Media Manipulation Chris Hemsworth’s Huntsman has a salary problem One of the more interesting tidbits to emerge from the Sony Hack was that Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams didn’t get paid the same as their male co-stars on American Hustle, confirming that Hollywood has a wage gap. Now, in the wake of that revelation, Page Six says that By Sarah • Jan 09, 2015 12:01 pm
Movie Reviews and Previews Beardy Chris Evans before the Globes Taking the night off from preparing substitute math curriculum, Chris Evans attended W Magazine’s pre-Golden Globes party. He looks good in his newly-acquired hot-for-teacher way, if maybe a bit underdressed, but man, that beard really works for him. The beard has reignited by Chris Evan Crush in full force. By Sarah • Jan 09, 2015 11:17 am
Maple Leaf Ryan Reynolds hears voices Last year, Ryan Reynolds’ movie The Voices made my Sundance preview, but we are only just now getting a trailer. The movie, from Persopolis director Marjane Satrapi, is about a seemingly-nice guy whose pets talk to him and his cat counsels murder. (Of course it’s the cat telling him By Sarah • Jan 08, 2015 04:28 pm
Justified Timothy Olyphant before the end Here is Timothy Olyphant, handsome and low-key as always, at the Clippers game last night. Olyphant was not at the People’s Choice Awards. He doesn’t court that vote. It’s one of my very favorite things about him. My absolute favorite thing about him, though, is Justified which By Sarah • Jan 08, 2015 11:40 am
Movie Reviews and Previews Beardy Chris Evans is the people’s favorite Action movie star, that is. The People’s Choice Awards, arguably the most meaningless of award shows, was last night and Chris Evans walked away with one of those dildo-looking trophies for being everyone’s favorite action star. He attended the awards dressed like that hot substitute teacher you fantasized By Sarah • Jan 08, 2015 10:36 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Alien Lizard King expecting alien lizard offspring The king of the reptiloid planet Garlactaca-9, Beeblebrox Calcify, proudly announces that he is expecting his first child. He and humanoid fiancée Sophie Hunter (humans and their odd names!) were rumored to be expecting after Hunter wore loose clothing, which we all know is a human signal of successful copulation. By Sarah • Jan 07, 2015 02:48 pm
Media Manipulation Kevin Hart shilling for Sony Last month, leaked emails from the Sony Hack revealed that Screen Gems’ studio boss Clint Culpeper thinks comedian Kevin Hart is a “whore” because he wanted more money to promote a project on Twitter, considering that to be outside the normal press duties for promoting a movie. This month, Hart By Sarah • Jan 07, 2015 11:27 am
Movie Reviews and Previews Post-divorce, Marvel’s Ant-Man looks GREAT After a bitter, public divorce from director Edgar Wright in May of 2014, Marvel’s Ant-Man started working out, got a new haircut, and bought a new wardrobe, and now it’s having athletic revenge sex with multiple flexible partners. In the wake of Wright’s messy exit, most people By Sarah • Jan 07, 2015 09:15 am
Break Ups Jeremy Renner’s divorce strategy: Kid first Right before New Year’s it broke that Jeremy Renner’s wife, Sonni Pacheco, filed for divorce.The filing was pretty sensational, accusing him of fraud and of stealing her identification documents, preventing her from leaving the country. Renner hasn’t said anything publicly, but he’s started making some By Sarah • Jan 06, 2015 11:36 am
