Gilmore Girl Season & The Best of Emily

I know it is not technically fall, but after that awful heat wave we just experienced in California, I am relieved that it finally feels like it. And while for some people fall means pumpkin spice and Halloween, for many of us, fall has meant it is time for a Gilmore Girls rewatch. 

And my algorithm knows. Hours after I pitched this post to Lainey, I opened Netflix and what was suggested as my “next watch”? 

This is the first time I noticed that Netflix has labeled this show as “one of the most rewatched” by its subscribers, although its popularity on the streamer doesn’t surprise me. In the past, I’ve always seen Gilmore Girls cited as an example of comfort TV. Rewatching shows like Gilmore Girls can apparently “reduce feelings of loneliness and mitigate drops in self-esteem and mood.” The writer of this piece in The New York Times, Melina Delkic, right under her byline, admits she is “on her seventh or eighth” rewatch! Don’t ask me for my number, I am too afraid to try to figure it out.

But it is fall and winter when most of us are starting our Gilmore Girls rewatch. Perhaps because of the show’s structure (most seasons begin with Rory’s academic year), the comfy fall and (not quite realistic) winter wardrobe, Rory’s birthday being in October, or Lorelai’s love affair with snow, but that is when most of us are getting that aggressive Netflix question—ARE YOU STILL WATCHING? According to Nielsen ratings (and our phones, I’m sure), the number of people who watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix is 14% higher in the fall and winter months than in the spring or summer ones. 

[It took me a long time to notice that I also indulged in a similar Gilmore Girls rewatch pattern. A few years ago, I was watching a season 1 episode when my concerned husband (and Paris Geller stan) heard Carole King’s “If You Lead” from another room and asked, “Are you OK?!” He pointed out that, like clockwork, I’d get my Gilmore fix just as the demands of the term (as a graduate student and instructor) started to really get to me.]

So it is marketing genius that Kelly Bishop—the Emily Gilmore—published her memoir just in time for Gilmore Girls fans to start their rewatch. Her book is titled The Third Gilmore Girl and it includes a foreword by Amy Sherman-Palladino. I plan to devour it on audio when I get on a plane soon because I just love Kelly Bishop’s voice, and Mariah Carey showed me how good an audiobook memoir can be! Who wants to read/listen along with me?

When I first watched Gilmore Girls, the Lorelai-Rory dynamic was what interested me most. Perhaps it was because of my own upbringing and my geographical distance from my mother, but I was intrigued by the fantasy of this ridiculously close mother-daughter relationship. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been more interested in the character of Emily and her relationship with Lorelai. I am so intrigued by how Bishop performs a motherhood that is in such contrast to the other TV moms I grew up watching. There is something really compelling about that stoicism and sarcasm that is in tension with her vulnerability. It hurts to watch her love her daughter but struggling so much to show it. I empathize with the ways she is constrained by her marriage and social status. And I enjoy her wit. And while the writing is a big part of all that, what makes Emily Gilmore special is Kelly Bishop’s performance.

So to celebrate Gilmore Girl season and the recent publication of Kelly Bishop’s memoir, I will share with you five of my standout Emily Gilmore episodes (from memory, because it’s been a while since my last rewatch):

1. “Hammers and Veils”

Lorelai FINALLY tells Emily she is engaged to Max (ugh, don’t get me started on that relationship), and Emily’s reaction is less than ideal (she says she hopes they’ll be in town for it and then gets up to check on the roast), but what Lorelai doesn’t know is that Sookie has already let the cat out of the bag. Lorelai decides to confront her mother, telling her it hurts her how little she cares about her life, but then Emily’s response shows that Lorelai’s not the only one hurting:

 

2. ”Dear Emily and Richard”

When Rory goes to the hospital for the birth of her half-sister, Lorelai flashes back to when she got pregnant with Rory at 16, and how she ran away from home. The episode does a great job of showing how the tensions of the past give rise to the tensions of the present between Lorelai and her parents. I think this is one of the first episodes that helped me empathize with Emily, even when I was younger. I could understand why she felt so rejected by her daughter. 

3. “Scene in a Mall”

The apples. While often a united front, Emily and Richard’s marriage is hit hard by Richard’s forced retirement and his eventual decision to start an insurance business of his own. In this episode Emily engages in the most ridiculous retail therapy spree because she is frustrated with Richard (and his business partner) but cannot talk to him about it. She then loses her shit. One of the things she buys is a set of glass apples, which she places in the middle of their dining table. When she asks Richard what he thinks of them, he responds with, “I’ve always liked them,” which shows how disconnected he is from their home…and from her. Her breakdown at the mall and his reaction always make me feel for Emily (though I don’t excuse her behavior with everyone at that store!). You can watch the shopping spree scene below but watch the whole episode for the devastation at the end of it. 

 

4. ”Emily Says ‘Hello’”

Emily and Richard separate, and sometime after that, she gets asked out on a date by some rich dude at her country club. She freaks out about it and asks Lorelai for support in the kindest way Emily Gilmore could (so, not very kind). But Lorelai does her best to be a supportive daughter through this whole ordeal. That’s the scene below. The episode’s last scene comes after what seems like a lovely date with this man. But then Emily comes home, she stands in the foyer—alone—and lets out a sob. 

 

5. “We’ve Got Magic to Do”

Kelly Bishop nails this monologue. That’s all.

 

BONUS MOMENT: “Like Mother, Like Daughter”

And because Cyndi Lauper has been on my mind, I have to include the moment when Emily and Lorelai reluctantly walked a mother-daughter fashion show for The Chilton Booster Club in some Nancy Reagan-style suits. I cannot hear Girls Just Wanna Have Fun without seeing Kelly Bishop do that pose and dance at the end of their small runway while Lauren Graham awkwardly tries to dance along.

 

Do any of you hold a special place in your heart for Emily Gilmore? What are some of your favorite Emily moments? Will you be reading/listening to Kelly Bishop’s memoir? I couldn’t help myself, and I’ve already listened to the first chapter—which is not just a “Show Your Work” chapter that chronicles the birth of A Chorus Line from her point of view, but is also the perfect introduction to Kelly Bishop’s life.