It’s Friday, so I’ll start with the most convoluted story at the top. Justin Bieber appeared on James Corden and played Spill Your Guts: eat something gross or answer a question truthfully. Justin Bieber was asked to rank Hailey’s friends (Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne) or eat bull penis. He answered quickly: Kendall, Gigi, Cara. Some may find this surprising because Gigi is close with Taylor Swift, but Hailey has said that the Hadids are helping Justin with his Lyme treatment. Kendall, obviously, came out on top because they are tight.

Cara has taken issue with her third place spot. I don’t know why – she was the first one to jump in and defend Taylor against JB during the Scooter drama. In doing that, she also called out Hailey, commenting on Instagram in 2019, "I wish you spent less time sticking up for men and more time trying to understand women and respecting their valid reactions." On JB’s end, he didn’t say anything outright negative, but it’s just the right amount of pettiness to keep the feud going. It’s good gossip because Cara is so reactive – she posted about it, deleted, and then reposted. Justin is super reactive as well, so there will be a response to this.

I’m leaning a bit towards Biebs here – why eat bull penis when everyone knows that Cara is last on the list? 


A post shared by Cara Delevingne (@caradelevingne) on

Yesterday Lainey mentioned Christy Turlington and it sent me down a rabbit hole – I always forget that her sister Kelly is married to Ed Burns’s brother. Kelly’s son, James Turlington, is now a model. Also, Bono didn’t walk Christy down the aisle – it’s a pop culture urban myth! I learned a lot in an afternoon.


A post shared by Christy Turlington Burns (@cturlington) on



A post shared by James Turlington (@jamescturlington) on

This 100% would be a great gag, in theory, until you are actually waiting for your number to be called.

The magical automated birthday wish – my dentist texts me every year, earlier than my friends do.


A post shared by Chelsea Peretti (@chelsanity) on

Finally watched TATBILB: PS I Love You and I just want Lainey to acknowledge that Lara Jean Covey is Hufflepuff! (Duana, can you hear me? Justice for Hufflepuffs.)


A post shared by @lanacondor on

Googling the box office of Dolittle tells me it has made $185 million worldwide. The budget was $175. When it hits VOD and streaming, that number will go up but not sure if that’s enough to call it a win, or even a break even. But there hasn’t been a lot of chatter about it being a disaster because Cats took all that energy. Not a great year for animals-with-human-characteristics movies.


A post shared by Robert Downey Jr. Official (@robertdowneyjr) on

Martha Stewart ready to f-ck someone up.


A post shared by Martha Stewart (@marthastewart48) on