David and Victoria Beckham show no signs of being bothered in Paris

Exactly a week ago today, Brooklyn Beckham made his case to the public, with a multi-frame post on Instagram stories explaining why his relationship with his parents has been fractured, blaming them for everything, from his mental health issues related to his upbringing, accusing them of putting brand before parenting, and charging Victoria with the crime of wedding cockblocking. In doing so, Brooklyn turned a situation that, up until that point, had been mostly confined to corners of the internet for very online people into monoculture.

In the days since Brooklyn’s bombshells, minor players have come out of the woodwork to add to the story as social media scrambled to take sides. All these bystanders do not, however, add up to one Marc Anthony, who remains enigmatically quiet about the drama, even though he seems to have played a significant part in whatever went down during the third-but-also-first dance at Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz’s wedding… ALMOST FOUR YEARS AGO. Can we please just all agree that Nicole Peltz-Beckham is not famous or important enough to have her wedding in the Gossip Hall of Fame, ffs. That said, this is the most heat Marc Anthony’s had in a long, long time. If I were him, I’d drop a new album full of Easter eggs.

Brooklyn going nuclear has made reporting on his family’s mess that much more complicated. I’m not convinced that every story that’s been published in any outlet is properly sourced. At this point you could make up any quote about their family feud and people would be willing to believe it, like … much of the tension between David and Brooklyn stems from the fact that Brooklyn has a deeper speaking voice and David is jealous.

Brooklyn and Nicola haven’t had, um, much reason to step out since his revelations. His family members, on the other hand, are always outside. Romeo and Cruz were both in Paris the last few days with their girlfriends and seemed to make a point of hanging out together, all four, in the presence of the paps. Also Victoria was at Emma Bunton’s 50^th birthday party which she posted on IG, and David jumping into the comment section as the biggest Spice Girls fanboy.

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The undeniable truth here is that whatever Brooklyn does will never match the nostalgia for the Spice Girls. Even Emma’s birthday was coincidentally and conveniently timed to VB’s advantage.

Both David and Victoria are now in Paris, showing no signs of being bothered. It’s not like they haven’t had the practice in front of photographers for, literally, three decades. Speaking of decades, a song Victoria released over 25 years ago, “Not Such an Innocent Girl”, is #1 on the UK singles chart. Probably not the kind of reaction Brooklyn was anticipating.

And then yesterday, VB took the opportunity with all this heat on her right now to brag about her eyeliner. I’ve heard great things about this eyeliner but I have not tried even one of her products. Her beauty line, though, is a moneymaker and like so many fashion houses, the beauty products sustain the fashion. This is the Beckham playbook, keep calm and carry on.