The post from yesterday that generated the most discussion on The Squawk was, by far, the one about Bradley Cooper’s facial hair. 


People online were already talking about the clearage between Coop’s bottom lip and his chin, and then Kate, a member of our wonderful Squawk community posted this in the chat – from the Centers for Disease Control, a beard chart that includes around 30 different facial hair styles, with names, designed for mask wearing guidance. 

The beard chart

I am dead and reincarnated and re-dead and crying at the turn this has taken and also, as always, f-cking delighted at the comedic imagination of the Squawkers who have elevated our Substack, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 


Anyway, the conversation that evolved – or devolved, lol, depending on how you see it – out of this chart was about identifying Bradley’s current facial hair style. And mutton chop seems to be the closest but not quite, but as you can see, mutton chops leave an opening at the chin area and Bradley’s chin area is hair-covered, so that the hair clearing from the bottom lip to the chin is almost like a teacup without the handle. This is the most unserious discussion of all time and I feel delirious. 

Bradley Cooper's teacup 

My point is that I don’t actually think there’s a name, at least not at the CDC, for this exact beard style. Has Bradley Cooper just invented it?! Does that mean… 

We can name it after him? That the CDC now has to update their facial hair chart to include the “Bradley Cooper”? Or should it just be the “Cooper”?

Someone please inform the CDC that their chart needs a new version. Someone please inform Bradley Cooper that he’s invented a new beard style. 

Here are some new shots of him out in New York, continuing to model the new beard style known as the Bradley Cooper or the Cooper, but I do think it might be growing in a bit and I can’t believe I’m about to say this but if you are the father inventor of a new style, you need to maintain it for longer.