Not many things make me feel old because I’m SO young, as you know. The 20th anniversary of “...Baby One More Time” didn’t make me feel old. The fact that High School Musical: Senior Year  came out 10 years ago yesterday didn’t faze me either. As important as those moments in pop culture were to me (HSM3 was VERY IMPORTANT), they felt like they happened a while ago. To me, an event or anniversary that makes you question your age feels like it happened last week when really it was two decades ago. Well, you know what did make me think, “sh-t, maybe I’m not THAT young?” Drake’s birthday party.

Drake had a 2000s themed birthday. He dressed as Fabolous. His cake was shaped like a Motorola two-way pager. He carried a flip phone. According to Bustle, he had 7-Eleven slurpees, a Rap City freestyle booth and a Blockbuster video wall. How do I get all of the above installed in my condo? 


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Drake also had cars from Pimp My Ride at his party. I’m sorry, Pimp My Ride
isn’t still on TV? The 2000s DO NOT feel like they were long enough ago that we’re already throwing nostalgia parties for the era. Drake is a year older than me (I’m so young) so I feel qualified to say that this is too soon. That said, I really want to throw a 2000s party now. I’d make everyone dress up as someone from a music video from 2002 specifically because there are so many great options. “‘03 Bonnie & Clyde” Beyoncé and Jay! JLo from the “Jenny from the Block” video! Nelly from “Hot In Herre!” “Hey Ma” Cam’ron! Christina Aguilera “Dirrty” era! Tweet in the “Oops (Oh My)” video!  Remember Tweet!? This is the best idea. 

At my 2002 party, no one can just show up in a trucker hat and think that’s good enough. Kendall Jenner wore this to Drake’s ‘00s party: 


God, I am so happy low-rise jeans aren’t in style anymore. Other celebs reportedly in attendance were French Montana, Swizz Beatz, Jas Prince, Diddy, Ty Dolla $ign, Chris Brown (why?), Trey Songz, G-Eazy, and Swae Lee. Didn’t Drake used to hang out with A-listers? Or were those just his girlfriends/crushes? Both Rihanna and JLo owned the 2000s and of course, neither of them were at Drake’s party. They are both invited to my 2002 party. 

If the details of Drake’s birthday I’ve shared so far haven’t convinced you that he has too much money, let me tell you about the free Chanel bags. Apparently, Drake was raffling them off for his guests. How’s that for a sweet loot bag? Do people still say “loot bag”? Do people still say “sweet”? AM I OLD?