If you’ve missed the news, Jumanji is tearing up the box office, becoming one of the biggest movies of 2017 (by making most of its money in 2018). As if we needed any more evidence, Dwayne Johnson is a huge f*ckin’ star who can do whatever the f*ck he wants. And what he wants to do is punch things, apparently, because two of his upcoming movies feature The Rock Punching Very Large Things. In Rampage he will punch a giant gorilla, and in Skyscraper he will punch a building. The first trailer for Skyscraper was released last night, teased during the Super Bowl and then debuted in full during Jimmy Fallon’s after-show. Everyone’s comparing it to Die Hard because it’s terrorists versus A Guy in a building, but it reminds me of San Andreas, in which The Rock punched an earthquake.
So, in this movie Johnson’s character is a person with an amputation. The Rock cites Jeff Glasbrenner as his inspiration:
Wow! THANK U for the amazing response to our #SuperBowl teaser for #SKYSCRAPER. Tune in tonight on @FallonTonight where I’ll debut the full trailer LIVE. To quote my good buddy and real life inspiration for my character @jeffGlas, “Amputees kick ass!” pic.twitter.com/Ymh5pceIkD— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) February 5, 2018
Glasbrenner is a person with an amputation who has completed the Ironman triathlon, won a wheelchair basketball world championship, and in 2016, climbed Mount F*cking Everest. I’m not sure why Skyscraper isn’t just a biopic of Jeff Glasbrenner, because HOLY SH*T. Anyway, the Skyscraper teaser came not long after Toyota’s ad featuring Canadian Paralympian Lauren Woolstencroft, which made Skyscraper look maybe a little tasteless, in the moment. But we’re going to give this the benefit of the doubt, aren’t we? Because it’s The Rock and we know he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, and all he wants to do is celebrate awesomeness all the time. Like I won’t be surprised if Skyscraper has some kind of charity tie-in with the Wounded Warrior Project. I’m probably the only person even side-eyeing this movie in the first place. Dwayne Johnson is immensely popular. He’s basically the Prom King of Hollywood. So here’s the question: When is he going to make a movie with RDJ, the Senior Class President of Hollywood?