Here are some photos of Chris Pine at LAX that I’ve been holding on to all week and haven’t gotten around to until now. And the reason I’m writing about Chris Pine and not Kathleen, our resident Chris Pine stan, is because I sent Kathleen a Chris Pine video last week that isn’t new but that she’d actually never seen before and it made me think more on Chris Pine. Well, think isn’t exactly the word. Feel? That’s not quite right either. Feel would be an exaggeration. Let me explain.
I don’t have a horse in the race for Best Chris. Like, I care about it as a fun gossip story but I don’t really care about it like the house competition at Hogwarts. #SlytherinForLife. If I had to choose, more often than not, it would probably be Hemsworth because he’s funny now. And because Taika Waititi seems to like him. Taika Waiti > all the Chrises. Sometimes, when Chris Evans has longer hair and a beard, I might be more into it, although that seems to fade as soon as the Avengers trailer ends. So while I’m into the career moves that Pine has been making, I don’t really get it on the attraction. The only time I’ve ever thought about being attracted to him was last week, when I can’t remember, either someone sent me this video or I was messing around on social media and it popped up. Did you know that Chris Pine has an Armani campaign? Did I know this? Did I know it and did it forget? Anyway, here’s the ad:
It’s not when he’s walking around with his shirt off. It’s definitely not when he says, “You stole my shirt,” all gravelly-voiced and try-sexy. It’s how he tries to follow her eyes with his eyes after that, the slight turn of his head, right before he laughs. I have a thing for that. It’s attentive, it’s intimate, it’s hot – and I wonder if he’s doing it on instinct or direction. So there’s my one and only Chris Pine moment up to this point. I don’t know if that moment will stretch though. And I don’t know if it’s enough to get me over that thing about Chris Pine that I’ve cruelly used on people to kill their crush. I did this to our friend Lorella last summer and she was mad at me for a week. But she never recovered. She wasn’t even crushing on him, she was just wondering if she should crush on him. And then I dumped it on her with no warning. Is it possible to turn crush-killing into a career? If you know someone with a bad crush, like it needs to end, or if that’s you, I could help.