Game Of Thrones Season 7: Project Runway

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2017 15:12:29 July 17, 2017 15:12:29

There’s really nothing like a Game Of Thrones Sunday, is what I texted to Sarah last night when the episode was over. She wrote back like, I KNOW! It feels so good! All that family drama and suspense and posturing and dragons and… fashion! Game Of Thrones is now a proper fashion show! We’ll come back to that in a minute. For now let’s start where we started, with Arya Stark.

After all these years I now finally understand the pronunciation of her name. Has this ever bothered you? Most people say Arya like Aria. Ar-ee-ah. But when the name is said on the show, it’s two syllables and there’s no “ee” sound in the middle. Sometimes it sounds to me like it’s “AH-YAH”. Or “AI-YAH”, like what we do in Cantonese when we’re surprised or shocked or appalled. Aiyahhhhhh. Arya on GoT is pronounced exactly how it’s spelled: AR-YA. Apparently there was an official pronunciation guide released way back when the show premiered which, obviously, makes me a slow asshole, but even George R R Martin has observed that most people still actually get it wrong. Anyway, two-not-three syllable Arya is now a killing machine.

Duana’s favourite character, Samwell Tarley, is now a librarian. Well of course Duana’s beloved Sam would become a librarian. She couldn’t be happier and prouder. I couldn’t be happier or prouder about Sam’s 30 second sh-t montage. As we saw, most of Sam’s day consists of cleaning up bedpans. The shapes of those logs and the consistency of the sludge was very realistic. I appreciate the show’s attention to detail. While Sam is Duana’s fave, it turns out one of Sam’s “patients” is one of my most hated – Jorah Mormont. If you’ve been reading this site for a while you know how I feel about this perv. And I cannot understand the devotion to him. He’s the skeeze that leers at you on the subway. WHY isn’t he dead yet and can Drogon just eat him already, f-ck!

Anyway, when Sam’s not cleaning up other people’s diarrhoea he’s talking to Horace Slughorn and sneaking into the restricted section of the library. So Game Of Thrones really is Harry Potter after all. And if that’s true, who is The One? Either Daenerys Stormborn or Jon Snow, I guess?

Jon Snow is all boss of the north now and a feminist too, because he wants women to be able to defend themselves. And immediately after winning that point at the Court of the North, or whatever you want to call it, he mansplains to his sister, Sansa, why he knows best about allies and enemies and how to distribute justice. Not that I didn’t agree with his decision in the end, because I do, but she had him later on about considering counsel from all sides so as not to follow in the dumbass footsteps of their father and older brother, both dead and useless to anyone anywhere.

Have you heard of Ask A Manager? It’s one of Duana’s most go-to reference sites. She mentions it in conversation almost every day. Because, of course, Ask A Manager is about Work. After that scene between Sansa and Jon yesterday, I told Duana that I’d like to Ask A Manager about Sansa and Jon and their different work styles. Jon, right now, represents the noble side of work. Which, of course, is all Stark. Which is why the Starks barely survived. The Lannisters, always cunning, are the opposite of noble, and they too are barely surviving. Pragmatism is what exists in the middle. Is that Sansa? Or will she become too ruthless?

And finally… the Game Of Thrones fashion show. We’re seeing the result of an increase in the wardrobe budget, right? That weaved leather high collar dress that Cersei wore in her opening scene was spectacular. Her next outfit was an amazing Balmain/McQueen-inspired hybrid. And did you see Euron Greyjoy’s jacket? It could totally have been Rick Owens or Alexander Wang. And Daenerys’s return to Dragonstone ensemble was pretty sick too.

But who am I to judge? Who are you to judge? Not when there is a new judge. There is a new fashion and style critic who has given us the final word on manbuns. He is, of course, The Hound.

“You think you’re fooling anyone with that topknot?”

This better be a new GoT feature – I’m going to need style commentary from The Hound from now on in every episode until the end.

Attached - Emilia Clarke at Wimbledon this weekend.

John Phillips/ Karwai Tang/ Getty Images

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