Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady did not attend the MET Gala last year. If she wore what she wore last night to the event last year, we might not have a problem. Gisele’s in Stella McCartney. And she told Andre Leon Talley that it’s “100 percent sustainable, baby”. Sustainable fashion would certainly have been on theme in 2016 for Manus x Machina, fashion and technology.

But 2017 is about Rei Kawakubo and Comme Des Garcons. You would think that as a co-chair of the gala, Gisele would try to observe the theme, especially since, you know, she’s a model, one of THE MOST SUCCESSFUL models of the last two decades…which means she can wear anything. And she could wear anything on theme while being sustainable, baby, too.


Is that not clear enough? SHE CAN WEAR ANYTHING!!!

And on a night when an iconoclast was being celebrated, the fact that Gisele flagrantly chose not to MODEL the Rei Kawakubo aesthetic, to me, is a f-cking insult. What the f-ck are you doing there if you don’t actually care to use your instrument – WHICH IS YOUR JOB – to honour the artist whose work is on display in the museum? The very existence of your profession is about showing the art in motion, through your body, brought to life by your physicality, instead of on a mannequin, so again, the question is: why the F-CK are you there if you, as the god.damn co-chair decide to give the middle finger to the theme?

It’s bullsh-t. And so is the way she tries to explain it to Andre Leon Talley – like it’s 1940s inspired. Bullsh-t. NOBODY IS HERE TO SEE 1940s, you asshole! And why does she have to keep saying “baby!” after everything?

Gotta keep the husband happy.” Oh but we could go SO MANY PLACES with that statement. But, since we are here to highlight the work of Rei Kawakubo, dressing to “keep the husband happy” would probably be the end of Comme Des Garcons. So, please, some applause for Gisele Bundchen, the co-chair of the MET Gala for truly appreciating the heart of the visionary.

PS. I think I’m permanently damaged now from hearing Tom Brady say “bootylicious”. Permanently damaged.