Yesterday when I posted about Gisele Bundchen, I mentioned that I wasn’t sure if I’d be including her in today’s Met Gala coverage because of what happened last year, when she and Tom were co-chairs for the Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons exhibit and couldn’t be bothered to dress to theme. Which is why last night I was expecting it to be “tight and not that exciting”. Well, it was tight. But it wasn’t exciting, it was atrocious. Which is why we’re talking about her today. Because as I also said multiple times yesterday, what you want at the Met Gala is an equal amount of trash to balance out the Rihanna. 

This dress on Gisele? Is trash. 

And she knows it. You know how I know she knows it? Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gisele wear this much makeup at the Met Gala, almost like she was compensating, compensating for the fact that her shoes look like they were dyed to match. Dying your shoes to match your dress is basically fashion desperado. It’s the worst Versace of the night. And my original argument was that it was an act of spite on Donatella’s part, saving her best dress for herself and giving Gisele the f-cksh-t but that theory fell apart as soon as it was revealed that Gisele’s design is eco-friendly, the same deal with her boring ass Stella McCartney last year. And, yes, I appreciate that, the effort, the commitment to making fashion sustainable and responsible….but here’s the thing:

She’s a MODEL, arguably the TOP MODEL of her generation. It is her job to sell the goddamn sh-t out of a piece of clothing. And if SHE can’t make it work? Why would I want to try to make it work!?! What she’s doing here then is showing us that she’s BAD at her JOB. And on this night, that’s the cardinal sin.