Big day for white women who wear The Row, consider the Tracy Anderson Studio their “home away from home”, and don’t eat nightshades. 

Gwyneth Paltrow has been found not guilty! Okay, this wasn’t a criminal case and there’s no guilt assigned, but in the People v. Goop (that’s not what it was called), she has come out on top. Not only was she found not liable for a 2016 slope-collision in Park City, Utah, but the man who sought damages from her, Terry Sanderson, has been found 100% liable, meaning the jury absolutely believed she did not cause the ski crash. 


This accident has been hanging over her head since 2016, so this is a long time coming for GP and no doubt she feels vindicated. While it was never about money for Gwyneth (like Taylor Swift – who as we learned Gwyneth is friendly with but not friends with - she asked for $1, a symbolic judgement), the other side was asking for $300k. That is not a life-changing amount to Gwyneth, but I guess if you knew you were not at fault, why would you give up $300k to someone misrepresenting what happened?

She fought but many other celebrities in her situation would maybe have written the cheque because they don’t want the hassle of a public trial. And this was a very public trial with a live feed and breathless live tweeting, lots of GIFs and daily rundowns of her courtroom outfits. While it’s been fun for us, it’s probably been stressful and expensive for Gwyneth. Her accommodations, travel, security and legal fees (the latter of which she can recoup) probably cost her tens of thousands, easily. Not to mention the stress-relieving treatments, saunas, chakra realignments, cupping and sound bath bills. Being stressed is expensive!


There’s no doubt this win feels amazing right now, like eating a warm piece of buttered toast after a juice cleanse (Gwyneth will have to take my word for it). She showed up and showed out, she knows social media is meme-ing her every side-eye. When she does choose to discuss this, the smugness will give her more of a glow than Goop face oil.

She also gave us one final parting gift, saying a few words to her opponent on the way out. Vulture guessed she said, “Keep your dollar.” Is this a little to sassy for our WASP Queen? She’s a “kill them with politeness” type so the AP’s report that she said “I wish you well” makes more sense. That’s the white woman’s equivalent of leaving a horse’s head in a bed.