I came back to work on Monday and practically everyone in the office is either “eating clean” or doing a “dry January” or substituting everything with cauliflower or doing Peloton. It’s January. It happens every January. We go bonkers in December with the parties and the holiday gatherings and suddenly it’s the new year and you feel like sh-t. 

And “feel like sh-t” time is the perfect time for Gwyneth Paltrow. When you feel like sh-t is when G shows up, not looking at all like sh-t, to tell you how to not feel like sh-t. 

So here she is, fresh off a New Year’s holiday in the Maldives, promoting her new cookbook, The Clean Plate, today in NYC. It’s recipes to help you not feel like sh-t, until the next time you feel like sh-t, at which point she’ll have something else for you to buy. Or you could read Anne Helen Petersen’s latest Buzzfeed piece about the “Burnout Generation”. I’m not a millennial but I can relate to much of what AHP describes in her essay. How is it that I’m so productive but it takes me two weeks to unpack a suitcase? I too have an “inbox of shame”. And while unlike AHP, I don’t have “errand paralysis”, I do have “social scheduling anxiety”. It stresses me out to make plans to go out and have fun. As AHP says, more and more people are feeling like sh-t and “it’s not something an oxygen facial or a treadmill desk can fix”. But AHP isn’t offering solutions. What she’s doing is acknowledging that it’s happening and that there are systemic, deeply institutionalised causes behind the pervasive collective malaise …that you can ponder while enjoying a clean chicken teriyaki bowl.

In other Gwyneth news, she’s made another cheeky comment on Instagram:


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So she got divorced and found the perfect guy, with a great job, who adores her…and is into the same kink. Once again, G is better than all of us.