Who scares Julia?

Julia Roberts on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the first thing I watched this morning because I am a dinosaur who will always f-ck with legacy media: a proper movie star on a late night talk show for three segments? I’M IN. 

But also, Julia is never not entertaining. That smile, that laugh – disappointingly there wasn’t much goose honking – and the f-cking charm. She can be many moods but when she wants to be charming, there are few people who sparkle like her… still. 

Julia is currently promoting Luca Guadagnino’s After the Hunt, and in the first segment of the interview, she talks about hosting rehearsals at her place, NBD, and how she and Ayo Edebiri bonded over their fear of Chloe Sevigny. Excuse me? 

How is it possible for Julia Roberts, JULIA ROBERTS, to be afraid of anyone? She’s not sh-t talking Chloe here, but she explains to Colbert that Chloe is just so cool – fact – it’s intimidating. And it’s so cute the way she’s telling the story, about how terrified she is to answer the door when Chloe arrives, but also… like… 

Ridiculous. 

Because anyone who is afraid enough to tell a story about how afraid they are of another person on broadcast television is… not really afraid. It is pretty much the opposite of afraid. In the end, this is a flex. But it works – it works to further mythologise Chloe’s eternal It Girl reputation and it works to further mythologise Julia’s Mother reputation: impervious, mischievous, and maternal all at the same time. 

On that note, apparently she bakes, and her banana bread is legendary? Ayo and Andrew Garfield talked about it… but there’s a record scratch at the end.

Cream cheese frosting? 

On banana bread?

Julia addressed this too with Colbert. And it’s as simple as – why the f-ck does banana bread need cream cheese, enough with this nonsense! 

PS. I put sour cream in my banana bread, before baking, and it’s divine, I said what I said. 

PPS. Julia is still wearing Luca’s face on her body. This time it’s Luca morphing into Shakespeare.