Maria posted about Jack Harlow sitting front row at Jacquemus next to Julia Roberts yesterday and shortly after Billboard confirmed that “Lovin On Me” is back at #1 on the Hot 100 for fourth time. It’s anticipated that Jack will likely be #1 again next week, although Megan Thee Stallion’s “Hiss” is making a charge (with help from Nicki Minaj). 

 

If you spend any time online, chances are you haven’t been able to escape this song. “I’m vanilla, baby” is so f-cking annoying, but I’m a hypocrite because, um, I can’t help myself, when I hear it, my mouth is forming the words. “I’m vanilla, baby”, UGH, F-CK OFF! 

 

But that’s what this white man-boy is doing with his earworms. And that’s also why he’s been so successful. Jack Harlow has burrowed his way into the culture with these bobs that you hate and love at the same time – which, in its own way, is a skill. Because if it was that easy, well, anyone could do it. And you know who can’t do it, even though he just tried? 

Justin Timberlake. 

Justin Timberlake’s “Selfish”, basically his attempt at making a TikTok track, is not moving the culture. The culture has decided there is only room for one white man with corny lyrics and curly hair right now and it isn’t JT. 

 

In 2024, Jack is the vanilla of choice although JT, bless him, will keep trying.