My friend Tim and I used to play a game called “Suri or?” when the world was peak-obsessed with Suri Cruise, when she was covering magazines, wearing kitten heels and spawning a million conspiracy theories. The point of the game was to answer the question, “Would you be more star struck if you saw Suri Cruise in real life or [insert adult celebrity?]” Suri would win almost every time. Suri was more famous than most of grown ass Hollywood.
The current equivalent of Suri Cruise is – hands down – Blue Ivy Carter, the second coming, my lord and savior, light of my life. It feels disrespectful to even put Blue Ivy and Suri Cruise in the same category because however famous and fascinating Suri was, Blue Ivy is all that and 100 times more. Every Blue Ivy Carter anecdote makes me squeal, laugh or bow down in admiration, or all three. So, if we’re playing “Blue Ivy or…?” doesn’t she win pretty much every damn time, unless she’s up against her parents? Blue Ivy or Blake Lively? Please. Blue Ivy or any of the Chrises, except MAYBE Pine? I’m screaming over Blue Ivy first and foremost, without question.
Here’s an easy one: Blue Ivy or David Letterman? It’s obvious. Not only does Blue Ivy currently have more star power than David Letterman, she is also the subject of the best story to come out of Letterman’s interview with Jay-Z for his Netflix show My Next Guest Needs No Introduction.
I haven’t watched the whole episode yet but I can’t imagine anything will be better than Jay sharing how Blue reacted to being rushed out of the house so they could get to school. There are so many things about this story I’m obsessed with. One, picturing Jay driving Blue to school in the morning makes my heart grow six sizes. Two, Jay says that the reason they were running late is that Blue was asking him a thousand questions. MY HEART. Three, Jay tells this story to Letterman to prove that his kids are happy and healthy, and that he’s not heartbroken over the fact that his upbringing was so different than theirs. I LOVE this answer. Clearly, Letterman is trying to get Jay to talk about the wealth, excess and access his kids have now that he didn’t, but instead of indulging him, he chooses to tell the most relatable story that proves that Blue is just like every other six-year-old, except that she’s Blue Ivy Carter, daughter of our Queen, future artist of her generation, of course.
Most six-year-olds don’t have stylists. Blue Ivy is making headlines today for Jay’s story on Letterman but also for WWD’s profile on Manuel A. Mendez, Blue’s stylist. Thank you WWD for blessing our Fridays with this information. Mendez works for Beyoncé’s Parkwood Entertainment and was confirmed by Beyoncé’s rep that he’s on staff as Blue Ivy Carter’s stylist and personal shopper. You’re going to call me a hypocrite. You’re going to say that if this was any other celebrity’s kid, that if this was Suri Cruise, I’d be appalled at the fact that she already has her own stylist.
Again, Blue Ivy is in her own realm. Also, OF COURSE she has a stylist. Here’s how WWD describes Manuel A. Mendez’s job:
Some of the outfits he’s crafted so far are Blue’s custom look for the Wearable Art Gala, the custom white Valery Kovalska tuxedo pantsuit she wore to this year’s Grammy Awards and the Billie Blush dress she wore in Jay-Z’s “Family Feud” video.
So, he’s pulled looks for a high-profile fashion gala, the Grammy Awards and a massive music video. That doesn’t seem ridiculous to me. It doesn’t sound like he’s picking out her outfits on the daily. You really think Beyoncé is going to let her six-year-old dress herself for the Grammys?
Did anyone really think Blue Ivy picked this look out herself?
When six-year-olds star in commercials or TV shows, do they dress themselves? Hollywood is not real life. We write repeatedly on this site about the power of fashion and how style is WORK but that it’s also a useful tool in brand strategy. Blue Ivy is already a brand. Beyoncé’s stylist Marni Senofonte has enough work on her hands styling the most iconic woman alive. She doesn’t have time to be handling Blue’s looks for big events too. Of course, Blue has a stylist. I am not mad at this. In fact, it fits everything I already thought to be true about my girl, Blue.
You could argue that a six-year old with a stylist is living in a world unlike any other six-year-old but stylist or not, Blue Ivy still says the darndest things, talks back to her dad and gives zero f-cks that her dad is the King of Hip-Hop.
Which brings me back to the rest of the Letterman story. So, Jay finally rushes Blue into the car and as they’re driving, she says this:
“Dad, I didn’t like when you told me to get in the car, the way you told me… It hurt my feelings.”
Jay calls it “the most beautiful thing” Blue has ever said to him. The parental manipulation is strong in this child and I am HERE for it. She basically said, “Dad, watch your tone around me!” and he was like, “Aawwww.” Jay may have been driving her to school but Blue is the one in the driver’s seat of this family. Bless her little fashionista heart.
Jay and Letterman also talk about both of their past infidelities and their “beautiful, understanding” wives. I’ve watched almost every interview Jay has given since 4:44 dropped and while I appreciate his candor, instead of being reminded that he cheated on Queen Beyoncé and she took him back like a SAINT, I’d rather watch an hour of Blue Ivy stories. I’d rather watch every fitting with Manuel A. Mendez. I’d rather know what Blue Ivy is like at bed time. Does the whole house get to sit around and watch her put on fashion shows all day? Clearly, Letterman should have asked the hard-hitting questions.