JLo: “I’m not Teflon”

I laughed when I read this quote from Jennifer Lopez this morning in the new issue of Interview Magazine. Then I screencapped it, circled “I’m not Teflon” in orange, her favourite colour, and sent it to Duana. Because, of course, it was Duana on our Show Your Work podcast a few years ago who first called JLo “Teflon”. 

Duana was referring to the fact that nothing sticks to JLo – all celebrities stumble, go through low points, movies that don’t work out, music that no one listens to, relationships that fall apart, whatever; JLo has experienced all of this, multiple times. But as Duana pointed out, it doesn’t follow her around and one of the reasons why is because she keeps it moving. 

As we near the end of 2024, JLo has moved on. From another marriage. She is the first of six covers subjects for Interview Magazine to mark their 55th anniversary, interviewed by Nikki Glaser. And the Teflon part comes up when JLo is talking about criticism and in particular the sh-t that people were saying about her, for months this year, on social media. And while she says that she’s been in the game a long time, and has learned that you cannot control what people think of you, and for the most part has been able to focus on the fact that “I know I’m a good person. I know I’m a good mom. I know who my friends are", there are those days when… 

“… if I see something that’s hurtful, I’m not Teflon.”

Of course she isn’t Teflon. At least not with her feelings. JLo was one of the biggest celebrity heatscores of 2024. TikTok was attacking her, people were laughing at her. “JLO’s LATEST FAILED MARRIAGE!” “JLO LOSES AGAIN IN LOVE!” “JLO DUMPED!” 

And in spite of all that, she did not go underground. Her philosophy seems to be that the sooner you face it, the sooner they’ll get it out of their system. Not that it was anyone else’s business to get out of their system, but most other celebrities would have gone deep undercover, run from the smoke. JLo went face first into it, to the point where it’s almost like she’s outlasted them. They got tired of hating her before they broke her down. 

I’m not saying that that’s the best way to handle things or that everyone should handle it this way – because by now I think we all know that there’s a cost to that kind of public targeting and it often results in real emotional trauma. All I’m saying is that it’s her way, her approach. And it’s how she’s been able to shorten the lengths of her scandals and start a new storyline. 

The old storyline, of course, is Ben Affleck and the end of their relationship. He doesn’t come up in this conversation with Nikki Glaser but they do talk around it. JLo refers metaphorically to her whole house blowing up – and in her face – and having to sit in the ruins of it and figuring out what to do: 

“But you have to be healthy. You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, “I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.” 

Which, frankly, she’s said before, right? But here’s where I’m reading into the Ben of it all – when she answers a question about how to practise loving yourself before loving someone else: 

“That, to me, is a scary thing too, or a confusing thing, because it’s like, “Oh, you couldn’t love me if I have flaws. I have to be perfect to be loved.” That’s not true! Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself. That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better, because you have your boundaries and I have my boundaries. And I go, “Here’s where you’re falling short for me and here’s where I’m falling short for you.” And so, we get better at those things together.”

One minute he was namechecking his wife in every interview, before she hit those professional bumps. And as soon as those bumps happened, well, the tone changed. That’s not safe for anyone, even JLo. 

But to go back to the part where she says she’s learning how to be on her own – I’m sure there’s some skepticism here, and she’s probably aware of it too. JLo says she doesn’t have regrets but she knows she has patterns: 

“Not one second [of regret]. That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good. It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, “F-ck, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a f-cking sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again.”

And there’s some humour here too. When she refers to herself later as a dumb bitch:

“And I know that the old Jennifer is still going to try to be like, “Wait, don’t we want to do that?” And it’s like, no, dumb bitch. No.”

When Nikki jokes that JLo needs to be nicer to herself, JLo responds by saying: 

“Let’s take dumb bitch out. It’s no, motherfucker, no.”

JLo once said that she bets on herself. Women have a much harder time betting on themselves, truly betting on themselves. But she has consistently bet on herself. You can’t bet on yourself if you don’t try, if you don’t go back out there and keep trying. This is why I like her so much, despite the mess of it all. 

Cut to a year from now, will she be back in love again and talking about how this time is the right time? LOL, probably. But in a way, that’s also her superpower – that she doesn’t stop trying and believing and falling and failing and trying all over again. It’s a form of resilience, to keep bouncing back. And by now, I think we’ve seen it too many times to doubt it. JLo will always bounce back. 

Also… she will keep serving. LOOK AT THIS BITCH. 

Click here for more of JLo in Interview Magazine. And join us at The Squawk to break it all down. (App link here)