Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

NO.

It’s ... hideous.

My Porny Jessica Simpson is back in New York promoting the final episode of her beauty show. As you can see, Porny wanted to match. Jacket, dress, shoes. And a lace pattern. Sausage lace pattern. That cuts her off at the worst length.

F-ck them. They keep telling her it’s flattering. F-ck them for doing this.

But those massive guns. The tit shelf. I mean, the land mass of those cans, it’s like a continent. Continental breasts. They are everywhere. She’s, like, one giant boob. Oddly enough, given the right outfit, even showing some cleavage, it is possible for her to contain them without being overtaken by them.

Compare and contrast my Porny in red and short just hours later. See? So much better.

One step forward, 5 tits back.


Photos from Turgeon/Rocke/Splashnewsonline.com

Share this post