Dear Gossips,

Alright well everybody can calm down now because Justin Bieber has confirmed that he was just joking about wanting to get into the Octagon with Tom Cruise. TMZ has video of it. As JB says, Tom would probably kick his ass because he has that “dad strength”, LOL. Should we now get on the rumour that JB is about to become a dad himself? Wait, no. That already happened on April Fool’s Day

I wonder if this is disappointing for Tom’s team. Like I mean his Church team. I wonder if, for a minute there, they were excited about Scientology recruitment opportunities. Could Tom Cruise recruit Justin Bieber? Like after Tom beat his ass, he and JB could have a come to Xenu moment? 

Speaking of Scientology, did you hear that last month, the Church’s cruise ship, Freewinds, was quarantined in port by St Lucia for measles when a crew member was diagnosed? Scientology apparently “does not have an official position on vaccines”. You think they’ve since updated their position given that their fun boat was docked because of the measles, WHICH IS SUPER PREVENTABLE but is making a comeback no one wanted?!?

Yep, celebrities and vaccines, back in the f-cking headlines today. 

Yours in gossip,