Remember when Justin Timberlake said sorry on Instagram for getting drunk and holding hands with his co-star Alisha Wainwright and ended the apology by promoting his film? My friend LB, one of the most skilled grudge-keepers I know, with a brilliant legal mind and a long gossip memory, called this a Cinnamon Roll Apology.
What is a Cinnamon Roll Apology?
You don’t have to go back too far for this one.
Hi guys, it’s 2017 and Mario Batali just apologized for sexual harassment AND gave a recipe for Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls all in one email. pic.twitter.com/88VuVB8a4H— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) December 16, 2017
I wonder if the Cinnamon Roll apology will become a celebrity apology trend. If it takes three to make a trend, who comes next?
According to E! News, here’s why JT apologised:
"He hopes by addressing what happened and apologizing to her publicly that they can put this behind them and start to move on," a source explained the move to E! News. "Justin feels like the story isn't dying and hopes this will be the end of it. He always tries to keep his private life private, but he knows he made a big mistake in public and now has to own up to it."
He feels like the story isn’t dying?!
It was dead. You know how dead it was? TMZ didn’t even cover it. They made NO mention of the handholding photos. And TMZ can turn anything into a mega-scandal. But the last time TMZ posted about JT prior to his apology was just after Halloween when they got Chris Kirkpatrick to give his thoughts on JT’s Halloween costume. They did, however, post about his apology! Just to be clear – they were NOT posting about the scandal until he decided to publicly apologise. So where the f-ck did he get the idea that the “story isn’t dying”?
Well, as I wrote yesterday, it’s probably because it wasn’t dying inside his own home. And also in his own head. Because if we can count on anyone to make themselves the biggest deal all the time, even when no one is talking about him, it’s Justin Timberlake.
Now that he’s made himself the story again and told the world how sorry he is to Jessica Biel, what’s next? PEOPLE cites a source who says that they will “work through this. It was good that he apologized publicly but obviously the real work he is doing is in private and hopefully this was just a bad drunken night of this type of behavior.”
There’s the beginning of the pivot. They will work through this and we’re going to hear about how they saved their marriage, how they dug deep, and it’ll be a part of their narrative – they’re the couple who will have weathered a scandal, reestablishing their status as one of the most popular couples in the celebrity ecosystem. Because, of course, what’s personal is also professional.
But what about Alisha Wainwright? Well here’s a tweet that sums it up:
What if Justin Timberlake were to escape scot free for all the public shenanigans caught on camera, and left a Black Woman holding the bag to have her career forever changed and reputation marred, without really ever coming to her defense?— VanLathan (@VanLathan) December 5, 2019
That couldn’t happen? Right?
And a follow-up:
No one is perfect. ESPECIALLY NOT ME. Trust me, I’m WAAAAAAY more fucked up then Justin Timberlake. I’m just saying he should’ve defended and protected the Sister from what she’s been getting as well. Especially after seeing how that “other thing” played out. https://t.co/ULfC7ULS9k— VanLathan (@VanLathan) December 5, 2019
#NeverForget is for Janet Jackson and Britney Spears and now, also, Alisha Wainwright. Justin and Jessica will be rehabilitated in no time. Meanwhile the MiniVan Majority, always eager to forgive his pipsqueak ass, will hold it against her forever.
And to think that Lizzo is working on a collaboration with him? Do we need to worry about her?