Kanye West hasn’t been on Instagram since May 2017. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day though. And Valentine’s Day is the anniversary of the release of The Life Of Pablo (2016) so Kanye returned to IG with a message to wish his wife a Happy Valentine’s Day and then… SPENT THE NEXT 7 HOURS posting pictures of famous and not-that-famous Hollywood couples.
Some are wondering if this means Kanye’s ready to drop a new album. Some are trying to figure out whether or not there are hidden messages in the posts – which couples were chosen and why and is there a significance to the order?
I don’t know if there’s any point to this. No one understands Kanye but Kanye. And that would take away from the pure fun of what Kanye has given us. Because the only takeaway, to me, is that Kanye, like us, experiences bouts of Gossip Nostalgia. It’s the most relatable he’s ever been.
What?
Let me break it down.
- He spent 7 hours posting on IG…which means he spent 7 hours on Google Images. We’ve all spent that many hours on Google Images googling old photos of our old favourite couples – don’t lie. I just spent almost an hour last night googling pictures of Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov, the best figure skating pairs team of ALL TIME.
- I am a G&G shipper. And I was a Brange shipper. And I am a Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson shipper. I guess I’m also a Jelena shipper. If you are reading this blog, chances are that you too are a shipper. You may ship different couples than I do, but you cannot deny that shipping is part of gossip. And now we know that Kanye, also, is a shipper. Just like us. You don’t spend 7 hours googling pictures of celebrity couples if you’re not a shipper.
- Although our individual shipping preferences may be varied, there is universality in specificity when it comes to shipping. There is one couple that we all ship, even Kanye West. Who? Them:
Everyone ships Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz. EVERYONE.
- Shipping is an art form. When you ship a couple, you have to appreciate all their moments, know their Hall of Fame back and forth and inside out. Which is why, of all the photos he could have chosen of Victoria and David Beckham, Kanye went with this one, LOLOLOLOLOLOL:
- And finally, how can we relate most to Kanye’s shipping? He ships AND shades. Britney’s love history made one appearance on Kanye’s Valentine’s Insta.
Do you know who he’s shading? He’s shading the person who DID NOT make the cut. Because, typically, if you’re remembering the romances of Britney past, KFed is not the first person who comes to mind. The person who comes to mind, of course, is Justin Timberlake who never missed an opportunity to leverage his connection to Britney to get ahead, namechecking her constantly when he first launched her solo career, and STILL benefiting from the association.
JT did not make Kanye’s ship list.
And neither did Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Either the family is still feuding or Kanye knows better than to jam the Carters alongside the rest, especially when his closing post is about himself and his wife, a declaration, if you will, that they are the couple most worth shipping.
OK. So maybe my entire argument just fell apart.
