KP & JT: Not just cheesy and corny

Here in Canada, the biggest non-controversial/political story is the Toronto Blue Jays and then, if there’s any leftover bandwidth, a lot of people are still talking about Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry. After photos of them all over each other went viral the other day, PEOPLE had a supposed exclusive on their situationship but before we get to the latest, let’s throw it back to another PEOPLE exclusive from the end of August, about a month after it first broke that Katy and JT had spent time together.

According to a “Canadian political source”, even though Justin “was used to being in the public eye as an elected official, [he] didn't anticipate that there would be such a reaction to his private life”. 

‘The source tells PEOPLE that despite the pleasant interaction, Trudeau would have liked to have more control over how details were shared, especially since dating rumors swelled while he and Perry were still getting acquainted and had no defined relationship.

"As long as [media coverage] goes his way, then he's fine," the source says of his attitude toward publicity, but as for the attention surrounding him and Perry, "he would prefer it more low-key."

This is… hilarious. And also more evidence that KP and JT are perfect together because only Justin Trudeau would claim that he didn’t expect there would be such a reaction to his private life, and that he would prefer it to be more “low-key”, after showing up to her concert like the president of Katy’s fan club. It’s basically his version of her putting on a tight outfit and claiming to be an astronaut for women’s empowerment. 

Now to the latest PEOPLE exclusive. Also hilarious. And it sounds like it might be the same source? PEOPLE describes them as a “Canadian source close to the political world” who gave the outlet an update on Justin and Katy: 

"Justin thinks she is terrific," the source says. “[…] in addition to the attraction, they are both smart and love to talk about serious issues. It has had time to develop on a friend and intellectual level as well as supersized attraction. The romance has merit."

LOLOLOLOLOL… the romance has merit?!?

Who talks like this? 

Is it a deal or is it a relationship? Is it a relationship that is also a deal?

Free advice to whoever it is sending out this messaging, clearly not someone who’s comfortable engaging with celebrity reporting… 

This has been the most fun and non-flop news related to both Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau in a long time. They are cheesy, corny, and obviously horny. But there is no quicker way to kill the public’s boner over this than to describe what they have going on as a romance that has “merit”. Nobody cares about whether or not they are both “smart” and how “intellectual” this sh-t is. I promise you, nobody – NOBODY – is wondering what ideas these two might come up with to bring down housing costs and solve the affordability crisis. Please go back to telling us what they ordered for dinner and how many times they watched Kpop Demon Hunters and stop ruining the buzz. 

Justin and Katy are lobsters, a match made in an echo chamber, I ship them, hard, they are a gift to gossip, and we would be grateful if they could keep giving us gossip without a side of Nobel Peace Prize. Thank you.