It’s a Keanu Reeves takeover – nonstop Keanu news the last few weeks. Nobody is complaining, right? Who the f-ck would complain about this? 

Sarah’s been covering The Eternals casting over the last couple of months as Marvel readies its next big franchise after wrapping phase 1 (or whatever) of the Avengers. Though nothing has been “officially” confirmed by the studio, we found out from the trades last year that Chloe Zhao is directing (Marvel’s first Asian American female director) and earlier this year, they followed up with the news that Angelina Jolie will be involved. So, already, there’s been a lot of hype. 

Kumail Nanjiani and Richard Madden are also reportedly on board and now according to MCU Cosmic, Keanu Reeves is currently in negotiations to join the cast. Nothing is on paper yet, nothing has been signed, but apparently there is interest on both sides. Per Screenrant though, MCU Cosmic doesn’t have the “greatest track record when it comes to accuracy of scoops, so it’s best to wait for an official announcement before getting too attached to the idea”. 

Um, too late. 

Sarah can write later, if Keanu really is in the movie, whether or not this would be good for The Eternals. Whether or not Keanu being in The Eternals is good for The Eternals, I can tell you already that it would be very Good for Gossip. 


The rumours will start – from the National Enquirer and Star Magazine and In Touch and OK! and Life & Style – the minute he’s cast, if he is really cast. I am begging them, please don’t do this. Please don’t call the play before the play can happen. We’re all in this together and we all want it together but popping the cap off prematurely could fizzle the whole enterprise and then we’re left with nothing! And this is already a longshot because Angelina is a heatscore and Keanu has always tried to avoid the heat. 

Can you imagine though? 

I want to imagine so badly. By Hollywood standards, there are few upgrades from Brad Pitt. Keanu Reeves? 100% an upgrade from Brad Pitt. 

These will be the prayers I say every night before I go to sleep.