In Cannes: Kristen Stewart & Blake’s silence

Kristen Stewart, Blake Lively, Corey Stoll, and Jesse Eisenberg with Woody Allen at the photo call for Café Society in Cannes today. Let’s begin with an upliftingly gross quote from 80 year old Woody: 

Woody Allen: "I’m 80. I can’t believe it. I’m so youthful, agile, nimble, spry, mentally alert, that it’s astonishing." #Cannes2016— Ramin Setoodeh (@RaminSetoodeh) May 11, 2016

As I mentioned when I wrote about the trailer last week, Jesse, basically, is playing Woody. And Woody, basically, confirms it:

Woody Allen: "If this was years ago, I would have played this part in the movie that Jesse Eisenberg is playing." #Cannes2016— Ramin Setoodeh (@RaminSetoodeh) May 11, 2016

So the narcissist wrote a movie in which he could watch a younger man say what he’d say, do what he’d do. Surrounded by young, beautiful women, casting them in his films so that he can mind-f-ck them with his handwritten notes…all in the name of his art. Because the art, it just has to come out, according to Kristen Stewart:

Kristen Stewart: "If you’re actually an artist who wants to tell a story, it’s a compulsion." #Cannes2016— Ramin Setoodeh (@RaminSetoodeh) May 11, 2016

Woody’s compulsion then is to keep art-ing his own fantasies to the point where they’ve become the same story.

The truly enlightened are supposed to be able to separate art from life. Or something. I am not truly enlightened. Or even fraudulently enlightened. So I’m not sure how I’ll be able to enjoy this film at face value.

I love Kristen Stewart’s all-white Cannes 2016 debut. So much better than the MET Gala. All of it – makeup, hair, fit, everything. As for Blake Lively…

Um, we didn’t hear from her.

Blake Lively wasn't asked a single question at the 'Cafe Society' press conference. #Cannes2016— Ramin Setoodeh (@RaminSetoodeh) May 11, 2016