Is this the Top Gun sequel we deserve? Ansel Elgort and Leonardo DiCaprio played beach volleyball against each other in Malibu on Sunday and the photos are slightly less homoerotic than a slow-motion, oiled-up Top Gun scene but they are still pure joy.  Sometimes in life, it’s important to appreciate the small pleasures. Watching Ansel Elgort block the sh-t out of Leonardo DiCaprio is a treat worth savouring today. 

There are so many levels to the hilarity here. First, did we know Leo and Ansel were friends? It doesn’t surprise me that they hang out considering Ansel is a 24-year-old who moonlights as a DJ and Leo wishes he was a 24-year-old DJ waiting for the beat to drop in Ibiza at all times. Second, my favourite Leonardo DiCaprio story sheds light on what kind of sports opponent he is. It’s a story George Clooney told Esquire in 2013. George and his buddies, who are significantly older than Leo and his Pussy Posse, destroyed Leo in pick-up basketball. Here’s the famous George quote: 

"The discrepancy between their game and how they talked about their game made me think of how important it is to have someone in your life to tell you what's what. I'm not sure if Leo has someone like that."

Leonardo DiCaprio probably also thinks he is AMAZING at beach volleyball. He’s been playing for years and like George told us, Leo doesn’t have people in his life to call him out when he sucks at something. If Leo was just playing against his posse, do you think they’d let him get that spike in? Do they let him win over and over again until he thinks he’s Kerri Walsh Jennings? 

I think I might love Ansel Elgort for not giving a f-ck and blocking Leo’s spike. How intense do you think Leo got after that block? Ansel’s channelling his inner Maverick, shirtless except for a glistening silver chain (the chain took me out, I am deceased), while Leo must be playing a 43-year-old man with a beer gut in that Tarantino movie he’s shooting. Wait. Nope, Leo’s not suffering for his art, this is just his natural state. Leo is the dude at the beach who flexes harder than anyone but refuses to take off his t-shirt. 

If we’re playing Photo Assumption, Ansel looks like he is having fun, even smiling in some shots, while Leo looks like he’s down a set at the Olympics. Leo only has fun when he’s winning. Where’s the Pussy Posse when you need them? Ansel also loves basketball. I would pay SO MUCH MONEY to watch their next pick-up game. That is, if Ansel gets invited back. Is letting Leo win a requirement of being friends with him? I have no idea who won the match but if this was Ansel’s friendship initiation game, I think he failed.