In January, when Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff broke up, I mentioned that my friend casually predicted that he’d move on with Lorde. In my previous post, I chose to keep my friend anonymous. She works in media too so I didn’t think she’d want her name attached to an off-the-cuff prediction that may not be true. After new pics of Lorde and Jack looking rather cozy surfaced yesterday, Liz would now like me to use her name. She is very proud of the fact that she called this pairing. She is SO proud that she would like me to use her full name. So, Elizabeth Anne Trinnear, you get full credit for being the first to foresee that Jack Antonoff would move on from Lena Dunham to Lorde. I appreciate you being so extra about receiving your credit. This is why we’re friends.
I need to make it clear that Lorde and Jack have not officially confirmed that they are more than just friends and co-workers. Jack co-executive produced Melodrama. When they were seated together at the Grammys, I chalked it up to their work collaboration and moved on. There were also rumours around that time that he was hooking up with model Carlotta Kohl. Well, Carlotta was nowhere to be seen when it looked like Lorde and Jack were on a romantic stroll through the streets of Auckland, New Zealand (Lorde’s hometown). Based on Photo Assumption and Liz’s stellar smutty senses, I’m going to go ahead and say that these two are out of the friend zone.
Lorde and Jack Antonoff know people have been guessing about the nature of their relationship for months so if they really wanted to fend off the speculation, you’d think they’d tone down the PDA. Jack has even given a response to the rumours on Twitter.
normally i would never address rumors but i resent having the most important friendships and working relationships in my life reduced to dumb hetero normative gossip. those relationships are deeply important and sacred. with that said, im not seeing anyone. lol.
— jackantonoff (@jackantonoff) January 17, 2018
Was that hipster for “I want to respect the privacy of my ex so please don’t let her know I’m f-cking someone in her circle yet”?
Ah yes, let’s get to why this couple is so good for gossip. I desperately want this to be true solely because it’s going to put Taylor Swift in an awkward friend position and we know that Taylor can turn a slightly awkward social situation into 10 petty-ass mediocre songs. She can turn that sh-t into the most dramatic season of The Squad: Who The F-ck Is Left?, EVER. I just made up the name of that TV show but I think I’m on to something. Put everyone who was in Taylor’s Squad circa the Bad Blood era in a house and make them actually have to talk to each other for extended periods of time. They get eliminated when Taylor says they get eliminated because I’m convinced this is how it works in real life. Pour one out for Karlie Kloss.
Lorde and Lena Dunham were both definitive members of The Squad. I found this pic that clearly shows how tight they all used to be.
At last head count, Lena Dunham and Lorde were both still two of the famous white women Talyor has collected. Neither of them seem to be on Taylor’s bad side… yet. The question now is WHO is Taylor going to choose? Before you email me that Taylor doesn’t have to choose any of them because they are all grown ass women who won’t let a man come between them, I don’t believe Taylor Swift is capable of such maturity. She seems like the friend who would judge the sh-t out of you for dating an acquaintance’s ex so soon after the breakup. Remember how hard she judged Selena Gomez when she was dating Justin Bieber?
Even though I’m not the biggest fan of Jelena, I’d still try to be a supportive friend. Taylor is too petty for such logic. So, when it comes down to it and Taylor is knitting her invites to next year’s #Taymerica, does Lorde still make the cut? Or does Taylor side with Lorde because they’ve always seemed to have a closer friendship? Is Lena no longer invited (because she’s the worst?) OR do both of their names get scrubbed from those very Good for Gossip t-shirts in the Look What You Made Me Do video? It’s worth noting that Lorde’s name is not on those t-shirts. Maybe she’s already been dropped.
I should ask Liz what her gossip prediction is so she can get credit for breaking another story.
