Let’s start with Chris Pratt. Chris and Anna Faris’s divorce was just finalised last week He’s been dating Katherine Schwarzenegger since at least June. Here they are on Saturday in Santa Monica. Chris’s son, Jack (not pictured), was with them too. At some point they met up with her brother, Patrick. Rumour has it, it was Maria Shriver, Katherine’s mother, who set them up. So he’s been in with the family for a while. It was probably always going to be like this with Chris Pratt though, right? Evans and Pine are the Tinder Chrises, the hookup Chrises. Didn’t you get the sense that Pratt’s the relationship, serial monogamist Chris…even before he became a father?

That’s three Chrises namechecked – the fourth, Hemsworth, is at home in Australia with Elsa Pataky, seen here embracing on the beach in Byron Bay. They’re approaching their eighth wedding anniversary in December. He just turned 35. I had to check that. And it surprised me. I thought he was at least 40. Anyway, as you can see, Chris and Elsa are fine. Or maybe you don’t give a sh-t because you’re looking at these shots of him all wet with his shirt off. Why doesn’t he do it for me?!  

Also re: Hemsworth – did you see this on Instagram? 


A post shared by Chris Hemsworth (@chrishemsworth) on

Chris Hemsworth and his friend can pick up a hitchhiker, no problem. Also his friend is HOT. Right? Anyway, I’m not sure Chris would have been so chill if Elsa was with a girlfriend picking up a random. Here’s my thing about hitchhikers: they all look like Christopher McCandless to me, the guy in Into the Wild, who always freaked me out. Did that guy freak you out?