Madonna’s Laser Holes

Madonna’s status in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community needs no elaborate explanation. The queer group chats were blowing up my phone this morning, anticipating the 11am ET YouTube release of her Confessions II short film that premiered at Tribeca this weekend. It’s June, it’s Pride, and this one is for the gays, with lasers coming out of all the holes and everyone is making out with everyone else, just in case there was any doubt. Madonna has never been subtle.

The short film is nearly 14 minutes long, MC will probably talk more about it in his column tomorrow, so for now, a few brief thoughts on all the cameos, because Madonna has stacked her visual with so many stars. The list in no particular order:

Sabrina Carpenter, Odessa A’Zion, Gwendoline Christie, Richard E Grant, Kate Moss, Benedict Cumberbatch, Debi Mazar, Archie Madekwe, Cole Palmer, João Pedro, Honey Dijon, and Madonna's daughter Lourdes who closes out the film. Plus Julia Garner giving us a glimpse at what she would have looked like as Madonna in that biopic that seems like it’s on permanent hiatus.

Several new tracks from the upcoming Confessions II album are featured, and in one scene, that takes place in the bathroom, Madonna drops the lyric, “hide the cocaine”, just as Kate Moss comes on camera… HAHAHAHAHA. Then Madonna decides that we all need to see Benedict Cumberbatch grooving, or at least trying to. Disappointingly Benedict does not have lasers come out of any of his holes but maybe she’s saving that for the sequel.

It’s random and chaotic but also beautifully shot and fully and completely dance music and dance culture, which is what she promised. I like it. I didn’t expect to like it so much but Madonna has never not been about dance – she started as a dancer, she’s always made dance music, which is what endeared her to the queer community in the first place; and the fact that she’s still making dance music now is exhilarating and also defiant. She’s about to turn 68 years old in August and she’s basically saying that you never have to retire from dancing.

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What else happened today…

Leslie Manville wore an orange sequined dress to the Tony Awards, and it is sublime. (Go Fug Yourself)

Bowen Yang talks about leaving Saturday Night Live and how he felt when he was there – which is so interesting because for a lot of us who were watching during his run, he was the main event. (Out)

Hugh Laurie clapped back on Twitter about House and he was verbose! (Pajiba)

The 2026 French Open probably won’t go down as the most popular tournament in history, an understatement. There was a lot of chaos and a lot of controversy, another understatement. So I guess it’s fitting that Brad Pitt was there? (Celebitchy)