I was not prepared.

I tried to prepare myself. I waited until I was alone so whatever sounds left my body wouldn’t disturb my coworkers. I made sure I was hydrated in case the sight of Michael Bae Jordan and puppies made me burst into a cold sweat. I thought I was prepared. 

Then the first puppy entered the frame and, I kid you not, it looks exactly like my dog Apollo Creed when he was a puppy. The whole litter does. Identical. Right down to the sounds they make and their complete lack of chill. 

THESE PUPPIES ARE MY PUPPY. Buzzfeed just gave me a very real glimpse into my future of Apollo messing around with his new daddy. I was so overwhelmed by the visual I didn’t retain a word MBJ said until about a minute in. Michael Bae Jordan + puppies + words IS TOO MUCH STIMULI.

At the minute mark, he makes a joke about the puppies biting his Jordans. Apollo would never do that. Seriously, he was born with an aversion to chewing anything but food. Michael Bae Jordan and my dog Apollo Creed are already best friends.

I had to take some deep breaths and FOCUS to hear any of the rest of the words MBJ says in this video. None of them divulge any new information (he worked out hard for Creed II, he doesn’t know if he’s going to be in the Black Panther sequel, etc.) but he does talk about Friday Night Lights.

Michael B Jordan plays with puppies while taking about Friday Night Lights

I WAS NOT PREPARED.

Lainey and Duana referenced FNL while discussing MBJ’s career trajectory on the latest episode of Show Your Work. I haven’t listened to it yet because I’m mad that they did a whole ass podcast talking about my man and I wasn’t invited to participate. As an MBJ stan and scholar, I am hurt. This is where Lainey yells at me that she was writing about MBJ and FNL long before my time and she’s not wrong but I would still like my relationship to be given the respect it deserves. I mean, I also can’t blame them for not wanting my hysterics all over their episode but I’m going to stay mad on principle.

The only thing MBJ says to Buzzfeed about FNL is that he doesn’t keep in touch with his costars and I was still screaming. Then MBJ breaks the interview to point out the puppies doing something cute and I think I passed out.

I don’t like that this video is for public consumption. It feels too intimate. I know that the ship has sailed on MBJ being my own personal crush. He’s a Movie Star now. He belongs to the world. He is everyone’s crush. My head knows that but my heart still wants him to be just be MINE. 

The full video of MBJ playing with puppies is below. Prepare yourself.