Natasha Lyonne has confirmed that she and Fred Armisen have broken up…and she’s given a reason. It may be the first time a celebrity couple has ended over this reason. Or maybe not. Rich people end love over some strange sh-t. (Cele|bitchy) 


I’m pretty sure the “jury of your peers” thing isn’t applying to this jury selection process, LOL. And it does not sound like these jurors are impartial – which is why they need me! And I’m at it again, moaning here about how I’ve never, ever, ever been assigned to jury duty, WTF? I pay my taxes! Why can’t I get invited to the jury pool party? What does a bitch have to do to be on the jury?! I would jury the f-ck out of this Blac Chyna vs Kardashians case! (Dlisted) 

A Shirley MacLaine throwback from 1970 – she’s wearing a very short dress that probably did not pass the sit test so now I’m wondering how extensive the booty short options were back then. Or did they just call it underwear because probably most underwear was fullback in those days? (Go Fug Yourself) 


Tucker Carlson – I KNOW, I KNOW – is trying to encourage men to consider “testicle tanning”. This is not euphemism for anything, it’s exactly what it sounds like…which… you know, ok, let’s talk about this. And apologies to Emily, our site manager, in advance, who does not f-ck with penises and their accessories, ever. Sorry, Em. Anyway, back to penises etc. I enjoy them. But I enjoy them for what they can do, not really what they look like. In all the smutty books I read the women are always going off about the dude’s “gorgeous cock” and sometimes “gorgeous cock and balls”. This has never resonated with me. I have never looked at a dick and thought to myself – wow, that’s a beautiful dick. I don’t actually find the penis attractive; in fact, compared to the vulva, which is a glorious thing, I actually find the penis ugly. And the testicles are even uglier. So WHAT THE F-CK is a tan going to do for them? (Pajiba) 

It's sandwich week over at Eater and I have clicked on every sandwich article. This one is about things you can add to a sandwich to give it more magic. And I have two suggestions that aren’t on their list: kimchi and Cheeto dust. Seriously. Kimchi on a sandwich is the F-CKING SH-T! Kimchi grilled cheese will change your life. Kimchi tuna? UNREAL. Kimchi meatball? OMG you are living. As for Cheeto dust – haven’t I told you like a thousand times? Cheeto dust goes with anything. Including kimchi! (Eater)