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Sadness? Hardly
Kate Hudson

Sadness? Hardly

When news broke yesterday that Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong had split, Us Weekly described the situation as one that was full of “sadness”. Sadness? Kate Hudson? Please. Kate Hudson moves on. Kate Hudson doesn’t cry in a corner eating cookies. Kate Hudson is a player. This is why
By Lainey • Jul 31, 2008 02:57 am
It’s Alive!
Maple Leaf

It’s Alive!

Can you feel the rain? The rain on the rowboat? The crazy McGoslings are watching The Notebook. Which they do every day. Only the difference between today and every other day is hope. There is hope. Hope is alive! Ryan Gosling DJ’d at the Green Door in Hollywood on
By Lainey • Jul 31, 2008 02:53 am
Midsummer Rossum
Brooke Hogan

Midsummer Rossum

You know I was just thinking to myself the other day – we’ve been blessed by many consecutive weeks, almost the entire summer actually, without any Rossum. Perhaps sensing this, Rossum is back, and punishing us for lost time in the worst way with a triple dose of the special
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 12:11 pm
Poor Junior must scrape
Douchebags

Poor Junior must scrape

The bottom of the barrel. Imagine you’re Kevin Federline Junior. You walk out on your wife and kids, including a newly adopted daughter, for a road you thought would be paved with Dynasty and 90210 gold. You must train your gag reflex not to kick in at the sight
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 08:53 am
Tabloid Wars: Preparing for The Twins
Katie Holmes

Tabloid Wars: Preparing for The Twins

JustJared is reporting that the Holy Jolie Twins have been sold to People Magazine. As such, every other publication is bracing for annihilation, pumping out salacious covers in the hopes of banking as much money as they can before the double deity double issue stagnates their sales. For bottom feeding
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 08:00 am
No Hags in the Sisterhood
Famewhores

No Hags in the Sisterhood

Ali and Dina Lohan managed to scam their way into the Sisterhood 2 premiere the other night. Their show is sucking ass…they needed the publicity. Who the f&ck are those morons are wanting Ali’s autograph??? I want you to look at that child’s French manicure.
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 07:20 am
Porny at the casino
Jessica Simpson

Porny at the casino

Fallsview Casino at Niagara Falls is one of my mother’s favourites. She likes the penny slots. She says the games are the most interactive. She claps her hands and cackles at the carton stories that creep across the screen. And she says she often doesn’t have to play
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 04:37 am
Jailbait is a BITCH!
Miley Cyrus

Jailbait is a BITCH!

They teach them how to sing and dance, how to pose for paps, how to fashion their young lips into beat-me pouts, and at the end of the day, how to make millions, and millions of dollars. But they don’t teach them grace. Or good manners. Or humility.
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 03:58 am
The Essence of Beef & Tomato
Essences

The Essence of Beef & Tomato

My comfort food - mentioned it in an article a while back. Since then, many have written for the recipe. Recipe is below. But not in a Martha Stewart way. My people, we don't learn to cook like that. There were no measuring cups back in the village. And
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 03:50 am
Taking credit…for everything
Douchebags

Taking credit…for everything

After performing at the Grammy’s Pip said he was solely responsible for the show’s amazing ratings. After endorsing McDonalds, Pippy boasted he was solely responsible for the company’s overall net gains. Curiously enough, after The Love Guru stank up the box office, Pippy did not take accountability
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 03:24 am
Kanye TV?
Kanye West

Kanye TV?

Love him. So talented, so obnoxious, so insufferable, so unapologetic, and SO entertaining… Which is probably why HBO wants so badly to give him his own show, enlisting the services of the producer from Curb Your Enthusiasm to work on a “single-camera series that would follow the busy life
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 03:12 am
The Players Played Out
Break Ups

The Players Played Out

Disappointing…but really no surprise. Three months is about right for lust to wear off anyway. In the end, the battle between two practiced players ended in deadlock. Us Weekly is reporting that the summer romance between Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong is over. The magazine also claims that there
By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 03:06 am
Rounding out the Sisterhood
BFFs

Rounding out the Sisterhood

And finally... the fourth piece of the Pants – Tibby, played by Amber Tamblyn who is following the recent jumpsuit trend but maybe not with the results of Gwyneth and Maggie before her. Still…the Sisterhood is not about style. Simply put, the Sisterhood is about 4 girls who love each
By Lainey • Jul 29, 2008 11:54 am
This is Tom Riddle
Harry Potter

This is Tom Riddle

If the name means nothing to you, skip to the next. You won’t care. But many, many, many of you DO care. Because we love Harry Potter. And the brand new trailer for the Half Blood Prince drops tonight. Yay! Among the juicy reveals – a first look at Tom
By Lainey • Jul 29, 2008 09:17 am
Before Hayden…
Gorgessity

Before Hayden…

There was Alexis. Alexis and Milo Ventimiglia, remember? Many of you feel about Gilmore Girls the way I feel about Friday Night Lights. Including my friend Duana. I think she still has episodes of it on her PVR. And even though I was too late to the bandwagon, I can
By Lainey • Jul 29, 2008 08:32 am
Talking to Dad
John Mayer

Talking to Dad

A very good friend of mine - her father is as hilarious as my mother. He once objected to her attending a sleepover during middle school because "what if father is rapist?" Amazing, non? Similarly, when I was visiting my parents in Toronto last year - I was 33 at
By Lainey • Jul 29, 2008 06:21 am
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