Paris & Stav: Riviera Romance Can"t say I"m sorry to see them back together. Like Pam and Kid, some couples just make sense, right? And after briefly siccing her poison p&ssy on athletes from across disciplines, Paris is back with someone who truly deserves her: an aimless Greek heir, By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Kid Rock Alanis & Ryan: bragging rights Time to gloat. Skip to the next if you don"t want to hear it. The photos prove it visually but I was the first to tell you exclusive on eTalk almost three weeks ago that they were very much together in Vancouver, surrounded by their dogs, rolling around By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Jay Z Elisha Cuthbert: beautiful but blind Trace Ayala, by all accounts, is a loyal friend and rather low key player. No, not the most exciting looking fellow by any stretch, but I"m telling you…anything is better than Sean Avery and any hockey fan will tell you the same: the man is a tool. By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Kid Rock Wanting Kelly"s Boobies If you"ve been reading my column for a while, you"re well aware of my obsession with little breasts. Love them. And happy, happy news! I have now found my ideal titties to go along with my ideal nose. Courteney Cox for the beak, Kelly Ripa for By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Victoria Beckham The New Mrs Beckham Eating again AND burning the weave??? What in F&CK is going on? Is David finally getting through to his wife??? Because as we all know, when Victoria is unhappy or when David is unhappy with Victoria, word is she always resorts to torturing her body, partly because she& By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Mel Gibson Tori Spelling: karmic downsizing Karma works in mysterious ways. And karmic payback is meticulously devised. Pedestrian homewreckers like Claire Danes can expect premature beauty evaporation - a tragic fate for a fetching young star. Others have been cursed with - gasp! - a new unremovable layer of fat, forever limiting career opportunities, resulting in By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica horny, Ashlee near death What the hell is going on here? Are the Simpsons becoming the Olsens? One is big-lipped and blonde, the other dark and emaciated, barely able to smile, let along walk herself to her car. Safe to say Joe Simpson will not be welcomed by the Goddess, savvy? Gotta love Jessie& By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Reese Witherspoon Sarah Michelle Gellar: scream queen for life? As we"ve just discussed, karmic payback takes many forms, tailored specifically to deserving recipients, inspired by what they fear the most. In Tori"s case, it"s socialite poverty, for Sarah Michelle Gellar, it"s a film career that pales in comparison to small screen By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Last Word The Third Person is not Britney. Judy might be a bitch, but her taste in men runs much more A grade, as in platinum several times, savvy? And yes, in case you’re wondering, I finally dragged my ass to Pirates. Fresh smut soon. Til then, I am yours in By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
Mischa Barton The Daily Gorgessity: Mischa Barton Total bitch. Yes. Prime candidate for eventual karma face. Yes. But also one of the loveliest looking young starlets around, from head to toe, on style and sensuality, few can beat Mischa Barton. Here she is at some polo event today in the UK – perfect per usual. A dress to By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
Janet Jackson Joshua & Diane: together in LA Pacey Witter, one of my favourite players for life, looks healthy and happy and very much in love. So much so that, unlike previous years, he’s chosen to scale back his usual Vancouver summer madness, preferring a much more low key existence when and if he’s in town. By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
Henry Windsor The Daily Hot Harry: Hot Harry plays polo Sweet mother of loin quivering madness…can you get enough of Harry??? Can you get enough of any man who looks like this, who can control a rippling beast between the strong clench of his young iron royal thighs??? And here’s the thing… the Hotness of the Harry is By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
David Beckham David Travels Becks on the go, off for training in prep for the new season. Other than that, I have nothing new to report. But come on, gossips…do we really need a reason to look at new photos? By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
The Daily Ugly: Courteney Cox Either she’s pregnant and nauseous or it’s a classic case of karma face … or both. Because it’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen Courteney look this bad. Tired, dead eyes, clammy sickly skin, a weary expression, and too gaunt for good…not exactly the By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
Jennifer Aniston Pam & Kid stay true You gotta love a girl who stays true to her roots, who knows her own style, or lack thereof, and doesn’t make the mistake of “classing up” when class in this case is clearly overrated. For this reason, I have developed a newfound appreciation for the gift that is By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
Hilary Swank The Federlines: pro-love in Vegas Gossips – I fear I’m getting soft on you. I fear my bitch is slowly dying. Because for the life of me, I can’t come up with anything snarky to say about Britney and KFed. Perhaps it’s because it honestly couldn’t get any worse than the Dateline By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
