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Pitt Clooney: the modern Cooper Cable
Brad Pitt

Pitt Clooney: the modern Cooper Cable

More loin quivering madness from the set of Oceans 13. Like art, isn"t it? And something else too. Something so elegantly old Hollywood about George Clooney, perhaps more so when George Clooney hangs with Brad Pitt, reminiscent of the classic old boys" club, even before the Rat
By Lainey • Aug 23, 2006 08:00 am
The Dumping of Cruise
Tom Cruise

The Dumping of Cruise

Again, for the benefit of his eager beaver legal team - conjecture, gossip, rumour, not to be taken seriously, all in good fun…because we do love your client, ok? We love him for his heterosexuality and his heroism, both of which are so potent, it would be pure folly
By Lainey • Aug 23, 2006 08:00 am
The Daily Ugly: Intimately Beckham
Victoria Beckham

The Daily Ugly: Intimately Beckham

His and her fragrances and a new sexy ad campaign to launch the products. Too bad they missed the mark, non? David looks fine if not a little constipated and then there’s the normally impeccable Victoria – frightening at best. First of all, that ain’t her ass. Second – what
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Brad & Angie: paradise in jeopardy?
Brad Pitt

Brad & Angie: paradise in jeopardy?

Life & Style Weekly, the vanguard of accurate tabloid reporting, really outdid itself this week with an explosive cover proclaiming the beginning of the end of the “Brangelina” era – a story that barely registered here in North America but somehow ended up twisted and repurposed for other rags overseas, resulting
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
The Return of TomKat: a new campaign

The Return of TomKat: a new campaign

A very public dinner outing last Friday. And great timing at that. Weeks of low key living, weeks of Little Sci mysteries, weeks of rumour mongering and speculation and suddenly Katie emerges from the fog – more beautiful than ever, so attractive I can’t stop complimenting her, such is the
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Lindsay Lohan: big sister
Ashlee Simpson

Lindsay Lohan: big sister

Everyone seems to be making a big deal about Demi’s little red nose the other night after celebrating Rumer’s 18th birthday in LA, alongside family and friends, including the notorious Lindsay Lohan. And while I prefer to turn a naïve and blind eye to whatever it was that
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Best Fresh: Ashley Olsen

Best Fresh: Ashley Olsen

My favourite of the evening. Understated, effortless, age appropriate, healthy, and would you believe she’s almost smiling? Watching her tonight, as she walked on stage, I was surprised to see that Ashley Olsen has a certain cool. There’s some bitch, there’s some bite, there’s a confident
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Worst Meathead: Nick Lachey
Nick Lachey

Worst Meathead: Nick Lachey

I like my men a little on the lean side – take a look at the Freebie 5 and I think it’s quite evident. Lanky, long limbs, defined muscles, ripped but not bulging, not brawny, and definitely, definitely not beefy. It’s a matter of personal taste, I understand not
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Best David Wooderson: Wilmer Valderamma
Henry Windsor

Best David Wooderson: Wilmer Valderamma

Underage p&ssy all up in the joint – of course he was there! Because this kind of Blue Steele cheese only works on 20 below. You remember Matthew McConnaughey from Dazed & Confused? Wilmer Valderamma, my friends, is totally Hollywood Wooderson, perhaps one of the most classic cinematic characters
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Best Black: Mischa Barton
Mischa Barton

Best Black: Mischa Barton

Although I don’t particularly enjoy giving this bitch any more excuses to NOT get over herself, it really has to be said - she hits more often than she misses. And with the exception of last week’s Grecian gaffe , in my opinion, what sets Mischa Barton apart is
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Most Unpregnant: Reese Witherspoon
Reese Witherspoon

Most Unpregnant: Reese Witherspoon

All that hysteria at the beginning of the summer…all the speculation…all for naught. But – shameless gloat coming up – if you were reading my column, you would have known otherwise…right? Reese showed up to collect her surfboard tonight, skipping the carpet, pretty much leaving as soon as her
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Most Disappointing: Rachel Bilson
Rachel Bilson

Most Disappointing: Rachel Bilson

Don’t get me wrong – you know I adore her. And when you strip it all down, she really doesn’t look bad at all. But the thing is – she could have looked a hundred times better, you know what I mean? Can we start with her head? Why does
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Worst Speech, Worst Depp: Orlando Bloom
Johnny Depp

Worst Speech, Worst Depp: Orlando Bloom

No charisma, zero sense of humour, completely pissed on his balls after a lame joke about sweating, and to top it all off, those 3 whiskers are even more pronounced than usual. Not even his English accent could save him from tonight. And to think there are some who have
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Best Mother: Britney Spears
Britney Spears

Best Mother: Britney Spears

Husband aside, gum aside, Hello Kitty cutesy claps aside, she really does pull it together during her final trimester. I liked everything about her tonight, although I have to say – her breasts frighten me more than a lot. Reined in…and still so big? That, in and of itself, pretty
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Teen Choice 2006: Best & Worst
Justin Timberlake

Teen Choice 2006: Best & Worst

I have to tell you…I was worried. I was worried that Kevin would actually be good. I was worried that I’d have to be objective and grudgingly write my approval. Like the time Paris Hilton came out with a decent, cute, vocally engineered song and we all had
By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
The Daily Drew: Drew In Style
Joaquin Phoenix

The Daily Drew: Drew In Style

I"m like a f&ckin" broken record, I know, but I can"t say it enough: Drew at 30 is the best Drew ever. She"s confident, she"s sassy, she"s absolute gorgessity, and now she says she"s ready
By Lainey • Aug 18, 2006 08:00 am
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