Henry Windsor The Daily Hoff: the Faux Hoff Before you look - wait. Just read first. I promise you won"t be sorry. As you all know, the Hoff is dead to me. Spoiled by success and attention, the Hoff has forgotten his true Hoff identity. The Hoff tries too Hoff. The Hoff has lost his Hoff. By Lainey • Aug 18, 2006 08:00 am
Gwyneth Paltrow The Daily Ugly: My Gwynnie She"s too tired to brush her hair, ok? She has two babies to raise, ok? She doesn"t have time to make sure her clothes are pressed and pulled properly, ok? She"s a mother - don’t you know? Life is so much more than By Lainey • Aug 18, 2006 08:00 am
Kid Rock Dear Christina: don"t change As you know, Christina Ricci doesn"t exactly have the greatest track record when it comes to healthy body image. And what"s even more frightening in her case is that when she tortures her body, she also manages to grow her head so that hers is even By Lainey • Aug 18, 2006 08:00 am
Jessica Alba A Compliment for Katie I have no quarrel with Katie Holmes. After all, is she not the ultimate victim in this war? Let's leave our quarrels with her master and extend some credit where credit is due. Because when all is said and done, Katie Holmes is not only a beauty, she By Lainey • Aug 18, 2006 08:00 am
Victoria Beckham Britney"s Boo Boo is her Poo Poo No, I"m not being immature, I"m just telling it like it is. And in the new issue of People Magazine, Britney talks about her baby Sean Preston, revealing a series of nicknames she has for him including but not limited to Boo Boo and Poo Poo. By Lainey • Aug 18, 2006 08:00 am
Kid Rock The Daily Ugly: Mischa in Tokyo Not a big fan of her bitch but definitely a big fan of her fashion. Usually. Tokyo however is beyond even my admiration. The grecian head gear, the attempt at Athena, the hard rock shoes that taint an otherwise lovely dress - it"s a huge disappointment for someone By Lainey • Aug 17, 2006 08:00 am
Madonna The Daily 48: Madge Immortal A bit over preserved, I suppose. But still…if I have the good fortune to look this good at 48, I"d be smiling too. Happy Birthday Madonna. Here"s to 48 more. Photo source By Lainey • Aug 17, 2006 08:00 am
Jessica Alba Jessica Alba: a real bitch never learns Wishful thinking I suppose but not even a lightning bolt can tame the terror that is Jessica Alba. And she continues to rage across my great country, unable to suppress the insurmountable C-bomb forever housed inside her perfect physique. If there were anyone deserving of that word…it is most By Lainey • Aug 17, 2006 08:00 am
Justin Timberlake Lilo like Mama Not that there was still any doubt but is there any wonder why my Lilo is a boozing, spreading, snorting mess? For me it"s not the messy room or the hooch presumably thrown back straight up like every casual underage drinker… that"s not what will ultimately By Lainey • Aug 17, 2006 08:00 am
Jennifer Hudson Jen vs Kate: the battle for America"s Sweetheart Janice Min. I love her. Us Weekly"s new cover…I"m assuming you"ve seen it? Is Kate Hudson with Owen Wilson? F&ck, I hope so. After all, they don"t call him the Butterscotch Stallion for nothing and even though he might By Lainey • Aug 17, 2006 08:00 am
Beyoncé Beyonce Knowles: assy music Ummm…have you heard her new tracks? Is she losing her sh*t? Nevermind that…why is she makin" me lose MY sh*t??? Sasha"s freakin" me out, y"all. Sasha"s singin" out of her ass. And Sasha"s also developed By Lainey • Aug 17, 2006 08:00 am
Last Word - CAUTION CRUDE Anne Francoise kindly sent this to me today with the caption: I hear Paris, Lilo, and Jessica will be competing against each other… Had to laugh. Had to share. Fresh smut Wednesday night. Til then, I am yours in gossip, and today is for Elvis, Lainey By Lainey • Aug 16, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson The Daily Dress-off: Christina vs Jessica Two ladies out for dinner - both dressed to kill, both dressed to impress, and who impressed the most? DEFINITELY Christina, non? Sure I"m pro-love for Simpson of late, but a floor length gown for no special reason, for no red carpet? Especially when your hairgay didn" By Lainey • Aug 16, 2006 08:00 am
A Tale of Two Grooms Groom #1 was recently married, publicly devoted, demons supposedly tucked away, and yet was seen driving his unmistakeable vehicle into a hotel parking lot the other day. A hotel parking lot in his home town, where his home is just a few minutes away, and his wife was occupied in By Lainey • Aug 16, 2006 08:00 am
Denzel Washington The Daily Dr Burke: Isaiah Washington quiveration I"ve always maintained McDreamy is McNothing next to The Burke. Hunk o" burning hotness hanging out with his sons, doting father, respectable actor, hit show, and you"ve seen him without his shirt on, right? Burke. Any time. Any day. By Lainey • Aug 16, 2006 08:00 am
Penelope Cruz Pene on Vacay Aside from the gay midget blip on her resumé, I am fond of Penelope Cruz. I am fond of her in particular because she has a real body. After all, how many Hollwood actors proudly show off such lurvely curves? If only we could eternally sunshine the crazy off her By Lainey • Aug 16, 2006 08:00 am
