Last night Lainey texted me about Pamela Anderson, and for a solid two hours I was repeating “Pa-MEL-a” in a Borat accent to no one in particular. A sure sign something is broken, probably a combination of pandemic brain and social media gluttony fuelled by the Reddit stock party. 


In a move that is probably healthy in every way, PaMELa is saying goodbye to all that, and all of us. She announced her departure from social media with a heady Instagram post. Please read the full caption. 

“The bewildered herd” is a reference to the work of Noam Chomsky and Walter Lippman and I’m far from an expert on either (I’m more of a YA reader) but I think it alludes to media control of society and the effects of propaganda on a large population. On Twitter, she’s mostly kind of done her own thing and stayed out of the fray (no memes or feuds) and seems like she uses Twitter more as a way to disseminate information about things she’s interested in; her feed is also filled with philosophical quotes, environmentalism, animal rights causes, and support of Julian Assange.


Could it be that she just got fed up with it and wanted to quit? A fresh start for 2021? Yes, but it also comes at the time her new marriage was announced. In an exclusive with the Daily Mail (talk about the bewildered herd), she said that she and her bodyguard Dan Hayhurst fell in love and were married on Vancouver Island on Christmas Eve, at her family home. The Daily Mail counts this as her fourth marriage and maybe my math is off, but I have Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, Rick Solomon (x2), Jon Peters (the legality of this one is questionable), and now Dan. By my count, it’s marriage number 6. 

It seems like we’ve entered the “Larry Fortensky” phase of her romantic life. Larry was Elizabeth Taylor’s 7th husband (and 8th marriage) and let me tell you, celebrities do not get married like Elizabeth Taylor (and Larry King) anymore. After a good run in her 20s and 30s, JLo slowed right down. Kim K. is only on her third. Pam – at 4 or 6 – is singlehandedly holding up Hollywood’s glamorous divorcée culture right now. 


Daily Mail has the exclusive photos and she genuinely looks happy and so pretty in a long Valentino veil in the rain. She wore a vintage corset and a tulle blue skirt by Vancouver couturiere Joanna Delaney with Hunter boots. The ceremony was blessed by a traditional Indigenous brushing ceremony (her witness was Qiyupelenexw from Snuneymuxw First Nation, per the Mail). There was a vegan wedding cake topped with a glass deer and lush bouquets as well as a professional photographer who shot the ceremony and some glam looks in Vancouver (which would require her to travel from the island to the mainland), so while there were no guests, this was clearly not a spur-of-the-moment elopement. It was planned to be ripe with meaning and to be commemorated. 

There’s not much about Dan except that he’s a local in Ladysmith and a builder, the two have spent the year together. She is clearly extremely into this new life, so much so that she skipped the “we did a thing” engagement shots for Instagram and quit social media a month into marriage. Now that is love.