Didn’t the OG Catherine the Great overthrow her husband? 

I say this because the new cover of Tatler made me laugh, because that’s what they’re going for with this title, “Catherine the Great”, about Catherine of House Cambridge, evoking of course Catherine the Great of history, who plotted a coup against her husband. And look at Prince William here, shoved off to the side while his wife takes up all the eyeballs, resplendent in white. 

Princess Catherine covers Tatler

Of course Kate would never. Ever, ever, ever. And the whole point of the story is that she’s now the saviour of the British royal family, no pressure. We’ll get to that in a minute but what’s funny here is that, if you recall, William’s father, Prince Charles, first in line to the British throne, didn’t exactly love it that people cared more about his wife, Princess Diana, than they did about him. Kate is House Cambridge’s greatest asset, and by all accounts, Will appreciates this. At least he does now…

But back to the point of this Tatler cover story – to crown Kate as the British royal family’s MVP, a “kingmaker”, if you will. Which, again, goes back to William and what he owes her. Writer Anna Pasternak talked to aides and courtiers and friends, supposedly, to get this story. Which is interesting because you know that the editor of Tatler, Richard Dennen, is an old friend of Kate’s, right? 

The timing of all this, then, is interesting. Because of course for the last couple of weeks, people have been wondering about the upcoming book on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Finding Freedom, by Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand, and exactly what we’ll learn about Sussexit and the Sussexes’ relationship with Cambridge and all the behind-the-scenes shenanigans at the palaces. Is this Tatler story, so sympathetic to Kate, at the expense of Meghan, a way of getting ahead of what will be revealed in Finding Freedom

Because we’re talking about the “crying” story again from Harry and Meghan’s wedding. There was reportedly some sh-t that went down at the bridesmaids fitting that left Kate in tears, allegedly. We are revisiting this in Tatler now – via The Telegraph:

"Then there was an incident at the wedding rehearsal,” a source named only as a ‘friend’ told the magazine.

“It was a hot day and apparently there was a row over whether the bridesmaids should wear tights or not.

“Kate, following protocol, felt that they should. Meghan didn't want them to.”

Photographs from the 2018 Sussex wedding, (below, top) appear to show the bridesmaids with bare legs, while those from the Cambridge wedding in 2011 (below, bottom) show even the youngest members of the party wearing tights.”


Also, Kate is tired. She’s tired because she’s a mother of three and Harry and Meghan’s departure has resulted in her having to do more work when all she wanted was to spend more time with her children:

“One is quoted as saying she feels “exhausted and trapped” by royal duties, now the Sussexes have left the family and the Cambridges are having to be more visible to fill the gap.

"Meghan and Harry have been so selfish,” said one. “William and Catherine really wanted to be hands-on parents and the Sussexes have effectively thrown their three children under a bus.

“There goes their morning school runs as the responsibilities on them now are enormous."

Another source added: “Kate is furious about the larger workload. Of course she's smiling and dressing appropriately but she doesn't want this. She feels exhausted and trapped.

“She's working as hard as a top CEO, who has to be wheeled out all the time, without the benefits of boundaries and plenty of holidays.”

“The Sussexes have effectively thrown their three (Cambridge) children under a bus”?! 

So, basically, Harry and Meghan have ruined it for Big G, Charlotte, and Baby Louis, who have been robbed of precious moments with their mother because the Sussexes are such asshole f-cks. 


Is that really what we’re doing here? 

Remember, according to Tatler, they spoke to “courtiers, staff, friends and society figures” for this story. So it’s about as close to a sanctioned account of Kate’s feelings as we’ll get, like the equivalent of that PEOPLE story about Meghan last year when five of her friends talked to the magazine anonymously about all the stress she was under. And, you’ll recall, Meghan was criticised by the viper courtiers and the media for it. Pretty sure Kate won’t be criticised for the same. 

And the thing is, there really was nothing about Kate or William in that PEOPLE story about Meghan. Most of the drama coming out of that PEOPLE report was about her relationship with her father and the Sussexes’ relationship with the British tabloids and how unfair her friends thought Meghan was being treated by the British press. They didn’t have a go at William and Kate. 

But Kate’s team appears now to be having a go at Meghan, perhaps as an early strike/defence move against whatever will come out of Finding Freedom when the book comes out in August. Well that’s interesting, non? Weren’t we told just a couple of weeks ago that Kate is too classy to bother with this f-cksh-t? The Tatler piece compares her to the Queen, unflappable and steady: 


“Of her unknowableness, insiders have likened her stoic personality to the rest of the Royal Family, saying, 'It’s why she is so well suited. She keeps her head down because the prize of being queen is so great. She models herself on the Queen and now speaks like the Queen.’”

I don’t know about stoic when the Cambridge courtiers are out here on these streets calling up Tatler and dragging the Sussexes. Is she stoic or does she want us to know how hurt she was over the bridesmaid tights and is so tired because she has three children and has a job to do? When you’re stoic, you’re stoic, you get the job done – keep calm and carry on, as they say. When you’re not stoic, your courtiers call up the glossies and make sure that we all know how stoic you are. It’s like claiming you’re “punk as f-ck” (Ryan Adams) and then writing a letter proclaiming you’re so punk as f-ck you don’t give a f-ck. Either you are or you aren’t. So is she stoic or is she not? 

What if the book comes out, though, and there really isn’t anything all that sh-tty about Will and Kate in it? What if they were worried for nothing and ended up playing dirty? Or is that the privilege of being Kate – that even when you get dirty, it doesn’t stick. 

The OG Catherine the Great was a schemer. She figured out how to unseat the power and claim it. The new Catherine the Great, it would seem, may be a schemer too. She’s the quiet power beside her husband and while there is no way she’d ever plot to have him removed, maybe she’s been aiming her arrows at another target. Maybe she’s a lot more complicated and cunning than we ever knew. Hey, don’t blame me. Tatler’s the one that made the comparison.