After much delay, Katie Maloney and Ariana Madix’s sandwich shop, Something About Her, is finally open. And the reviews are…mixed, to put it mildly. Apparently the line up on opening day was hours long and they ran out of sandwiches, leaving tons of hangry customers who had been standing outside in the hot sun to no avail. Some were understanding, others, not so much. It’s also been confirmed that Jennifer Tilly will be on the next season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a friend of the cast. Here’s to hoping she brings some heat!

 

Jax shows his (longstanding) true colours on The Valley

Anyone that’s been watching Vanderpump Rules since the days Jax starred on the show can attest to just how much of a prick he is. And while he may have had us fooled for a moment there into believing that he had changed, matured, and softened a bit, during the last few episodes of The Valley, he made it loud and clear that he is still an asshole. Perhaps an even bigger one than he was before. 

With the group in Lake Tahoe for the most chaotic babymoon ever (by the way, are we babymooning with friends now? Is that a thing?), the girls head to the water for a fun day while the guys are off doing guy sh-t. Brittany takes maybe a drink or two and becomes nauseous in the car on the way home. It’s long been clear she’s got a weak stomach and reacts poorly to alcohol. But rather than get her into bed, give her some tea or water and, you know, care for his wife, Jax’s solution is to belittle, demean and berate her in front of the group and production staff and tell her that she should never drink again.

 

His reaction to her becoming ill, not only in this instance but in others as well, is so bad that Brittany asks the girls to not disclose to him that she was feeling sick when they got back to the house. The women all agree, but totally side eye the fact that this grown woman has to lie to her husband about something as simple as not feeling well.

A few of the other women speculate that what Brittany is really suffering from is anxiety and sickness caused by Jax. And as someone who suffered a lot of anxiety from being in constant worry over how past partners might react to any given thing, their theory isn’t too far off. While Jax says she’s always reacted like this to alcohol since the start of their relationship, I don’t recall her having such strong reactions to tossing back tequila shots like it was nobody’s business in the days of Vanderpump Rules. 

 

Kind of like what we’re seeing with Lindsay and Carl, the show is helping us to understand the demise of their relationship. I also think it’s helping them, or at least Brittany, if she’s watching it back, to understand the demise of their relationship, too. In order for Jax to see it, he’d have to have a sprinkle of accountability – and we know it’ll be a cold day in hell before that ever happens.

Jenn Fessler is not your soldier

I’m not sure if Jenn Fessler aligning herself with Teresa is an indication that she a) knows the importance of being on the right side of history, b) the importance of staying close to Teresa in order to not fumble the Bravo bag, or c) whether she just really likes Teresa, as she said in last week’s episode. But she scored major points with Real Housewives of New Jersey fans this week when she stuck it to Margaret and Rachel, saying “I ain’t your soldier” when they scolded her for having a conversation with Teresa at Danielle’s party for Nate.

Essentially, Rachel and Margaret have an issue - or should I say issues – with Teresa. And it seems like their expectation is that whoever is on their side prove their allegiance and loyalty by not engaging with Teresa at all. That’s a tall order.

 

This is all very rich coming from Margaret, who is quickly and swiftly running out of storylines and relevance. The need to have her on the show is becoming obsolete and I wouldn’t be surprised if she got demoted to a “friend” role in the next season or two. 

But it’s even more rich coming from Rachel – mostly because she’s new. She’s not doing herself any favours in her witch hunt for the show’s OG and one of the most well-respected cast members in the entire Real Housewives franchise.

I think the strategy here is to cling onto something or someone and cause a shitstorm so that they have to bring you back. Kind of like Monica Garcia (did we ever confirm what her actual name was?) did with Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, which I wrote about here. But here’s the thing – Monica had receipts. And even then, she still never got invited back for another season.

I really liked Rachel last year. Her wanting to adopt her stepson really spoke to me. Her kids are adorable, she’s got a great family. But something switched and she reeks of desperation. And I hope this season brings about some sort of reconciliation between this cast.

 

I totally understand wanting to secure your bag. But look how Jenn Fessler is doing that. She’s being honest, she’s being herself, she’s not clinging onto anyone for storylines or drama. She’s doing her own thing. I think the women on these shows sometimes underestimate how far that can get you.

Jo gets the ‘closest thing’ to an apology she’ll get from Katie Maloney

For a while now, I’ve been saying that Katie is a bully. Her treatment of Jo this season was reprehensible, and using whatever the hell was going on between Tom and Jo as an excuse to treat her that way didn’t justify it whatsoever. 

At the end of the day, it was Katie’s decision to divorce Tom, and the idea that Jo owed Katie some form of loyalty, and that Katie would hold Jo more accountable than her own ex-husband just never made any sense to me. The name-calling, the ganging up, and the mean girl behaviour was incredibly childish and super reminiscent of the way that Stassi used to treat the rest of the cast on Vanderpump Rules.

 

While I’m glad it was discussed at the reunion, I wished two things would’ve happened. The first - that Katie issued an actual apology to Jo. The kind of apology where you actually hear the words ‘I’m sorry’. Instead, Katie just brushed her behaviour off, reminding everyone that she was going through a divorce (that she initiated). 

The second thing I wished that happened, though, was that Jo actually stood up for herself (and to quit playing with those damn earrings!). I would have loved to see her come fully prepared to hold Katie accountable for her treatment. Jo was called some unthinkable names that could’ve been damaging not only to her business but also to her mental health. 

Everyone sh-t on Lala during the first part of the reunion for airing out a conversation that Katie had with her in private, not expecting it to be recounted on camera. But the reason it brought me so much joy was because finally Katie had to answer to somebody. And again, other than brush off her behaviour again, blaming it on her own “insecurities” and “not wanting to bring that to Ariana”, she had no other defence. Is it too much to ask that what’s done in the dark come to light? 

 

Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney greeted fans at the "Something About Her" Deli grand opening.
Photo credits: Backgrid

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