Reality Recap: babies, exes, and duds

It was a busy week in reality TV. There were the rumours of Phaedra Parks making a triumphant (and much-needed) return to Real Housewives of Atlanta, a move that Porsha Williams is super hopeful for; Teresa Giudice addressing her epic photoshop fail with Larsa Pippen; and Ariana Madix celebrated a huge win with Peacock announcing Love Island USA as the most-watched streaming reality show in North America. But that’s not all…

Lindsay Hubbard is pregnant

When Lindsay announced her pregnancy, two thoughts came to mind. First, a mild congratulations. Second, an admiration for the way she always manages to spin devastation into something…not devastating. We saw it with the wedding dress initiative, and we’re seeing it now.

It’s not that I’m not excited for her, she’s been talking about wanting to be a mom for a while now, plus, I know how bitchy it sounds to weave her pregnancy into the narrative about her knowing how to spin a story, but Lindsay is a public relations expert. So yes, it’s likely that people will dig a bit deeper into the news of her pregnancy, particularly when it falls within a year of her engagement ending. I think this is a best-case scenario for everyone involved. Lindsay wins because she gets a baby, and Carl wins because this story will completely overshadow any devastation he may have caused her because it didn’t take her long at all to find someone else to start a family with. 

The only news more interesting than Lindsay being pregnant was the news that both she and Carl will be returning for season nine of Summer House, which just started filming at the beginning of the month. I’m excited to see what that’s going to look like, not just in terms of their dynamic but in relation to her drinking. I’ve always theorized that Lindsay is actually a kind person, alcohol just doesn’t bode well with her. And maybe this is a good time to test that theory out. 

But really - two former fiancés, one of whom is pregnant, living in a house together a year after the groom called off the engagement? That is just messy af – but God am I here for it.

Real Housewives of Orange County’s intense season premiere

Season 18 of RHOC is off to an intense start. The storylines are deep. And nuanced. Two of the main storylines centre around Shannon Beador, who is in the doghouse this season after her DUI. She’s clearly having some alcohol issues and it’s heartbreaking to see, particularly because production brought in Alexis Bellino, her ex’s new girlfriend, to be a cast member.

In all fairness, Alexis has been on the show before. In the earlier seasons, she was a full-time cast member. A few years ago, her ex-husband sued Shannon and Tamra Judge for defamation, and Shannon’s beef with Alexis, in addition to her being the “new girlfriend”, is that Alexis started the drama by sending the pair a cease and desist.

Naturally, all of this came to a head during the season premiere, with Shannon bravely asking Alexis to follow her outside to address the elephant in the room. But the elephant in the room, according to Shannon, wasn’t Alexis and John Janssen’s relationship, but the fact that Alexis’ cease and desist caused Shannon to lose $300,000 in legal fees.

This is what people like Rachel Leviss, Bethenny Frankel and Eboni K. Williams are talking about when they say reality TV is a predatory environment. Don’t get me wrong, Shannon was given the heads up by producers that Alexis would be joining the cast and I’d bet my last dollar that they offered Shannon a lot of money this season. But still, that’s hard. And while it makes for great entertainment, this is Shannon and Alexis’ real life.

We’re also seeing the fallout from Shannon’s DUI on her friendships and relationships. Tamra dropped out of the Tres Amigas live show – and I can’t say I blame her. I’m thrilled that she had the self-awareness to not do a live show, mostly centred around a bunch of drunken friends, after Shannon’s DUI.

Lastly – Gina’s story. I’ve always had a soft spot for Gina. I think she’s one of the most authentic housewives out there. So seeing her navigate the difficulties of her relationship with Travis, the financial frustration over not having the money to buy a bigger home for their blended family and feeling dragged down by his baggage with his ex is so real, particularly when you compare her situation to Heather Dubrow’s.

Like, Heather Dubrow is rich, rich. The woman casually informed the audience she purchased a $16 million home that she plans to bring down “to the studs”. And then she said she was going to spend double what she paid for the property on renovations! Are they even called renovations at that point? In that price range? I don’t know. I’m a commoner.

Dolores Catania has an awkward moment during Us Weekly interview

As we all know, her relationship with Paulie seems like it might be in trouble. It seems to be par for the course for Dolores, who is either operating with a broken picker or just super unlucky when it comes to love.

This is the second relationship we’ve seen Dolores in where she is clearly ready for more commitment than the man is. And that could explain her tame reaction when asked about the progress of her relationship with Paulie during an interview with Us Weekly. She responds nonchalantly, before confirming that cameras were rolling, asking the team to “cut that part out”. Oddly enough, the video was available up until and during me writing this piece. But when I went to hyperlink it, I got a notification the video had been removed over copyright infringement. Did Dolores complain? 

I want Dolores to know that we see her, we are her and we love her. There are so many women in her position. Smart, beautiful, independent, but a bit lonely sometimes, particularly with her kids being damn near adults and out of the house now. And that’s okay. But rather than just accepting these men that look good on paper, I wish she would find someone who wants the same things as her. The fact that Paulie’s divorce is not finalized yet after all this time is extremely alarming, particularly as they take on a new business adventure together. I’m just so, so nervous for her and hope that Paulie realizes the gem he’s got on his hands.