It turns out that Teddi Mellencamp has found some refuge in the midst of her divorce from Edwin Arroyave at none other than the home of Kyle Richards, padding the case for my argument that she’s trying to regain entry onto Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We finally know how some of Jennifer Tilly’s life has been funded by The Simpsons. Fans of the original Real Housewives of New York franchise did not hold back when Andy Cohen solicited questions from the audience for the new cast. Oh, and the seating chart for the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City reunion has been released, confirming speculations that Angie K. really is that bitch.
Real Housewives of Salt Lake City show other franchises how its done
The internet was set ablaze after – sorry, during – the chaos of Meredith’s bat mitzvah. With the relationships between so many of the women being strained, it was no surprise that having all of them under one roof, with alcohol, would’ve resulted in some drama. But I don’t think anyone could’ve expected what we got.
It was nice to see both Mary and Angie at the event, given that both of their relationships with Meredith are on the rocks right now after Mary’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s event, yet they still came out to support her in her long-awaited rite of passage. But whatever Angie unleashed at the brunch was nothing compared to the tongue lashing she gave anyone who got in her way this week – mainly Bronwyn and Britani.
When Angie pulled Bronwyn to the side for a chat, Bronwyn held no bars about letting Angie know that she felt like she deserved an apology after being told to shut the f---up by Angie about a dozen times at last week’s camp event. Based on this conversation and the talk she had with Heather before the Palm Springs trip, it’s safe to say that apologies carry a lot of weight for Bronwyn.
When it’s clear that Angie’s apology is not to Bronwyn’s liking, Bronwyn is about to storm off, but for some reason, she stays and entertains the rest of the conversation, which ended up getting so heated that somebody had to step in. And can you guess who that somebody was? None other than Todd, Bronwyn’s husband, an expert in silencing – though he was much more diplomatic about things this time around.
Angie heads to her group of friends and Bronwyn heads to hers, which, oddly, includes Britani, who is also at odds with Angie because Angie slut shamed her at brunch, saying she’s “banging three guys” (one of whom was Jared Osmond, btw). And that’s when all hell breaks loose.
Angie starts on a rampage after being informed by Bronwyn, Britani’s temporary friend and Angie’s present enemy, that Britani said that the reason Angie slut shamed her is probably because Angie is a slut – a good old case of projecting. This did not sit well with Angie, a self-proclaimed ‘old school Greek girl’ who went on to tell Britani that everything from her hair to her dress to her heels give “high body count” and that she needs to take her little “bumpa” and walk away.
Britani, now feeling insecure about her slutty hair and overall ‘slutty vibes’, is about to leave the party and begins crying. But when Meredith gets wind of the havoc Angie has wreaked on her bat mitzvah, she takes up for Britani and has security (also - why is there security at a bat mitzvah?) out of her event. As all of this is going on, Lisa comforts Britani by saying her hair is not in fact slutty, but did inform her that she needs Kerastase Thermatique.
Every single episode of this franchise this season has been jam-packed with entertainment and nuanced arguments. And the best part about the arguments is that you’re not always rooting for the same person. A lot of social media users are recanting their praise for Bronwyn, criticizing her for being a bit too holier-than-thou as the season goes on.
I think the reason this show and the cast is such a hit is because it's reminiscent of early seasons of Real Housewives. This entire scene reminded me of the ‘mention it all’ episode of Real Housewives of New York, or any other episode with chaotic arguments. Super low stakes fighting, a bunch of drunk bitches hurling questionable insults at each other, and the iconic memes and one-liners that were born from them. With such heavy topics like substance abuse and reproductive rights and decisions being addressed in recent weeks, this was exactly the kind of mindless garbage I needed to balance it all out.
Mauricio and Kyle are in two different places, mentally and physically
This week, we get a better idea of where Kyle and Mauricio are at amidst their split. When Mauricio shows up to the house for a quick visit, the pair seem amicable. Kyle shows him some of the changes she’s made to the house, like the new paint colour in one of the bathrooms.
After walking him around parts of the home unnecessarily, considering he lived there for years, the two sit down for what will be a very passive aggressive conversation. It’s clear that Kyle is taken aback by just how happy and easygoing Mauricio is now that he’s out of the house.
In a confessional, Kyle explains that Mauricio signed a six-month lease, something she says made it easy to transition from their shared family life to living somewhere new. But when she goes on to explain that he bought the staging furniture, rather than just pay for it to stay in his bachelor pad for the period of the lease, it becomes clear that these two are in completely separate places.
Kyle ups the ante, on the hunt for sympathy, emotion, something and explains that their housekeeper burst into tears immediately upon seeing Kyle after Mauricio moved out, which prompted her to become emotional. And Mauricio’s simple, non-emotional response of “Aw” spoke volumes. It’s clear as day that in her mind, Kyle is only separated. But in Mauricio’s mind, he is divorced.
To add insult to injury, we know that he swapped out a photo of him and Kyle that was once in his office out with a photo of he and Emma Slater, the Dancing With the Stars instructor he was paired with during season 32 and rumoured to be having an intimate relationship with. Ouch.
I’ve always enjoyed writing about how well women often fare after a split, but it is very clear Kyle’s time hasn’t come yet. She has never had the leg up in this separation, even when she was rolling around town testing the waters of a same-sex relationship with country singer Morgan Wade, which I am still convinced was a strategic move to try and make Mauricio jealous without fully committing to being with someone of the opposite sex. I hope that as this season goes on, she finds her groove, because in the meantime, her unprocessed emotions are resulting in Dorit being her punching bag.
Southern Charm cast is in for a messy season
Judging by the season premiere, which followed a contentious reunion where dynamics between Austen, Craig and Shep are changing, this season is going to be about which friendships survive.
Craig, who is experiencing great success with his pillow company, Sewing Down South, and in a relationship with Paige DeSorbo from Summer House, seems to have a chip on his shoulder based on where he’s at in life. He says he can’t be affiliated with anyone that displays the kind of behaviour that Shep often has while under the influence of alcohol.
It appears that Shep has taken some time to reflect on his choices. He did an ayahuasca retreat and says he’s making progress by exercising and focusing on his health. But I’m really glad that production rolled old tapes of Craig from his days of being the belligerent prick in the group. Because in the earlier seasons of the show, he was a total asshole.
I totally understand the frustration of Austen and Craig, but neither one of them have a squeaky clean history. Austen was dishonest to Shep almost all of last season about his relationship with Taylor, and Shep still remained his friend. And while Craig had his days of being a drunk jerk, Shep checked on him and encouraged him to straighten up. Now Shep is clearly the one struggling and it feels like Austen and Craig are just turning their backs on him. On a network where so many of the dynamics are between women, it will be interesting to see how this trio of male friendships fares throughout the newest season of the show.
