The Rihanna/ Lupita/ Ava/ Issa movie of Twitter’s dreams is officially happening. When I wrote about the project last month, it was still just a whisper and a sliver of hope in the hearts of anyone with a pulse and a brain. Even though I essentially laid out the timeline for all those rumoured to be involved and let Hollywood know its sole job was to not f-ck this up, I knew there was a chance this film would forever stay a meme that faded into Internet obscurity – you know, like what we all wish for the Cash Me Outside girl.
Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Netflix won a “dramatic negotiation session” at Cannes for the rights to the untitled Rihanna and Lupita Nyong’o heist movie, directed by Ava DuVernay and written by Issa Rae. Writing that just made me giddy. IT’S HAPPENING. The concept, of course, started on social media and multiple reports confirm that the original creators will be credited. Since Lupita Nyong’o first responded to Twitter user @1800SADGAL, the idea was attributed to her until recently, when this Tumblr account claimed to have posted the now infamous Rihanna and Lupita photo first. The creator of this Tumblr has since said she’s been contacted. By who? Unclear. Whatever, I’ll let Netflix get to the bottom of this but it’s nice to know that whoever is responsible for my new favourite movie is going to get the acknowledgment they deserve.
Now that I’ve given Twitter its credit, I need to call out every user who has co-signed Ryan Phillippe’s involvement in the film. Y’all, this is a sacred project that has yet to be tainted by mediocre white men. Do not ruin this for me with Reese Witherspoon’s douchey ex-husband. Of course, Phillippe was the one who inserted himself into the narrative.
i'm down to play the rich white men, jus sayin... https://t.co/wxClcRQtYM— Dr. Philz (@RyanPhillippe) May 22, 2017
Ryan Phillippe’s last role was a guest starring arc on Brooklyn Nine Nine. Obviously, he’s down but the only thing he’s worthy of playing in this movie is a valet. He gets 45 seconds of screen time, max. The problem is that Twitter now thinks it has the power to make this sh-t a reality. And it does. But with great power comes great responsibility. Use it wisely. Sure, the OG idea called for Rihanna and Lupita to scam rich white men so inevitably, at some point, they will have to add some dudes to this current culmination of black girl magic. That’s OK but I think we should be aiming for the other Ryans (either one), the Jon Hamms and the Bradley Coopers, not the f-cking Phillippes. If we’re going to start a Twitter petition, let’s get Chris Pine on board. He’s the only Chris allowed though. Don’t @ me.
Finally, we’re probably going to see a lot more of these social media movie pitches but I’ll be OK with it if they’re all as good at this one.