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It’s always a Brazilian model, non?

Oh those Twilight super fans. Those message board moms have been wailing into their keyboards lately. Because Robert Pattinson is supposed to be Edward Cullen. And “dazzling” Edward Cullen, in the books, who could have any girl he wants, fell in love with someone regular. Someone ordinary. Someone just like Stephenie Meyer.

Oh f-ck off!!!

It’s been months and the hate has not subsided.

Sorry…the anger…I digress.

So Robert/Edward was supposed to be above it. To see beauty underneath instead of on the surface, perpetuating fangirl and fanmom dreams – the famous false promise: it could be you.

Are you a Brazilian model?

Because word is he’s dating one.

Her name is Annelyse Schoenberger. She’s spectacular. Of course she is. She is not Bella.

Here’s Robert in Rome promoting the movie.

Ew. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Source ONTD

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