Alright, let’s take a break from how bleak and upsetting Blonde is to gawk at these photos from the premiere of Hocus Pocus 2. I love everything about these photos, except how big Sarah Jessica Parker’s daughters are, because nothing makes me feel older than grown celebrity children. I also love that the Sanderson sisters dressed for three different events. Kathy Najimy is appropriately witchy, but Bette Midler dressed for a David Bowie tribute, and SJP looks like your bohemian aunt who never married and always goes on extended vacations to places with white sand beaches. They do look like a fun group, though. Like your aunties who aren’t actually related, but they’ve known one of your parents forever and you grew up with them and they snuck you wine before you were technically old enough.
On the dude side of the aisle, while I like Sam Richardson’s leather coat, I do not like his matchy-matchy pants and shirt. That outfits requires some color, Samuel. I do, however, like Doug Jones’ vaguely steampunk velvet jacket. It’s perfect for the premiere of a fantasy film aimed at kids. Though the shape of his shoes is upsetting me, so I will simply not look down. Also, every story I have ever heard about Doug Jones is AMAZING, and he is in my top five of actors I would love to gossip with. He’s worked with so many people, he probably has some great stories of his own to tell. And finally, I must express my disappointment that no one brought Cobweb the cat to the premiere. Put that cat on a leash, or in one of those cat backpacks like Taylor Swift has, and let Cobweb come to the party!